I have identified as a trans boy for the past year or so. But recently, I have been having second thoughts. Basically, I feel that I wouldn't really mind being read as either a guy or girl, but sometimes I would rather be seen as a guy rather than a girl. When I imagine myself as being older, sometimes I think of myself to be a girl or a boy. I'm kind of in the middle, but other times I'm not. I've been looking at the terms genderfluid or androgyne. I kind of feel like those terms don't quite fit me. Anyone else know anything that might match me? Thanks.
I went through similar, but with a longer timeline of being binary-trans in my mind before finding a non-binary identity. One of the things I've forced myself to do, and technically although I am getting close to picking out labels I am still in the process of... is making myself sit on "questioning" for a while. Sometimes, especially 10-20 years ago, there was such a premium on knowing and celebrating who you are that being questioning was almost taboo. But it's OK to do! Now a days there is so much intradiversity (home made word) within gender and sexuality that it's not entirely unreasonable to say "I am certain that I am something, but I haven't picked out the perfect description yet"... So you could go with that label for a while and then just try things on here and there until something feels right. For me, I am starting to settle on "demifluid"... but there is still a whole line of explanation that I have to give after that so I am not for sure adopting it. Until in finalize something I just tell muggles that I am "genderqueer, or non-binary"
For me, I have realized just recently that my gender expression and identity don't match. I originally thought that I was androgyne and had an androgynous expression, but the more I think about it and the more I look at myself, I realize that I am still androgyne, but have a masculine expression. I personally feel like half male, half female, or like 60% male, 40% female. But I would like to appear as a male, but my identity isn't male. I hope you understand what I am saying. I am just saying this because it might be something like this for you. Gender expression doesn't equal gender identity, and it seems like even know I have known this for a long time, my brain didn't catch up, and am finally now realizing that I would really like to be seen as a male (have a masculine expression). I hope you figure out what fits best for you.
