Hi people! Well um, where to start... I've always been bisexual and knew it since I was 13 or 14... But in my lifetime I've only had intimacy and romance with other men. And I've never felt romantic feelings towards another woman. But I think I find more women attractive than men actually! Where do I start? How do I know if this is just a fantasie or not? And how do I acknowledge the lesbian part of me? Well, at this point I think it's starting to become necessary to try being intimate with another woman, I guess it's the only way I'll know if I'm bi or not... I haven't been in a steady relationship since 2014, and seeing that ever since, I'm less and less interested by the traditionnal straight idea of steady relationship, marriage and kids... I dunno. Anyways, I know theese are probably questions without answers... It would feel so conforting to get a response from a person who can understand and who's been through this kind of... romantic no man's land. I don't know, I'm so shy about being intersested in women, I don't know how to be otherwise than only a friend to another woman. I think I just need to meet more LGBT people and make new friends (who aren't straight!!) I've only been friend with 1 gay person and it was my last roommate, a guy. We've had lots of laughs together, but I didn't tell him I was bi. I've only confessed being bisexual to a handful of people in my life. Like 3 or 4. Can anyone relate to me? Does anyone kind of understand? Anyone have advice for me on?
I can understand what you are saying. I would say though you don't have to have sex with someone to confirm your sexuality. It certainly can be the thing that makes you go "Well, that was enjoyable... I guess I'm into that" but you don't want meeting someone to be just about reaching that goal. What are your sexual fantasies like? Do you think about women? Is it pleasurable? If so then I think that is a good indication that you are sexually attracted to women. You don't have to go experiment to find that out. I think being bi is something of a weird place. You like both. You also said you are shy. That's difficult too. I think you should just give yourself time. Give yourself time to think it through. You don't have to rush into anything.
*sigh!* Well this is reassuring!! lol um... Ok so then I definately know I'm bi. Cuz I'm 100% sure that theese fantasies (about me sleeping with one ore more female person-s) ARE actually pleasurable. Well... reassuring as in "OK well I can check off this question... Next!" Yeah, I think it's good advice not to just seek having sex with another woman for the sake of it. I've had sex with men for the sake of it and it wasn't 5% as fun as when I did it with people I love (in a romantic or non-romantic way) Hm.. Yep.. But I'm still puzzled by the fact that I've never felt any romantic feelings toward a woman, and just the thought of it feels weird. Although I have the feeling that I MUST experience this, being bi, well... I think it would be kind of negating the fact if I never did it with a woman, or like suppressing desires... But anyway, I think you advice on not being in a rush is good advice. I'll do that! hehe. Takes time to figure ourselves out.. Well, to figure MYSELF out anyway. lol.
Some bisexual people report that they are sexually attracted to men and women, but don't feel romantic for both. That might be the case for you. You might like women only sexually. If so, that's okay. There are also people who have said that they did eventually find someone that they clicked with romantically, so it might just be that you haven't found the right person. For me, personality is a big turn off if they are a jerk, or have too much drama, etc. Just something else to think about.
Hi Winter! It makes a lot of sense to me what you're saying. At least I know that I'm not the only one feeling puzzled about theese non-romantic attractions. I do try to avoid any unnecessary drama though, that's why I haven't had anything serious going on for the past 4 years. And nothing romantic for the past year except an old friend popping up for christmas time. Anyways.. I'll give it time. Thanks a lot for your support and friendly advice. It helped me calm down a bit about all this
I can't really give you advice but I just wanted to say I understand a bit of what you're going through. I'm the same age as you but I've only just realised I'm bi. I know I'm attracted to women but, like you, I feel like I need to have some sort of sexual experience with another woman to...prove to myself that I am? I don't know, that doesn't sound quite right but I can't explain it. I don't even know where to begin though. It's so new and confusing.
