I was watching this video on YouTube this morning. It makes me curious - what really constitutes a masculine gay vs a feminine gay? The whole concept is a bit confusing to me.
The hairdo! So many gay guys seem to have the same one. Unless handsome, takes care of himself, etc. count? I think people's definitions of masc/fem change once they know someone is gay.
Your post just came through my notifications there. Is something up with the forum? What would you say that their definitions are?
Its mainly based on stereotypes. Men with a higher pitched voice, have interest in things like Make-up or fassion, celanely shaved body, and have more stereotypically female mannerisms are viewed as fem. Men who are really into things like sports, cars, have little interest in the fassion world, and have a generally lower voice and body hair are viewed more as masculine. That being said, these are based on stereotypes and it's fairly common for these stereotypes to cross over (men with lots of body hair may have an interest in make-up for example). In my opinion, it's better to not label people based on stereotypes.
Me! I'm hairy and bearded ETC. Most would say I look masculine, But I love to wear make up and nail polish and I talk quite feminenly. But I've just learned to not worry about what people think about that. I don't see why liking something has to be seen as masculine or feminen, why must everything be categorised? Why can't it be masculine to like make up or nail polish? Typically in a heterosexual relationship women would wear these to look beautiful and or attract men. So somewhere on a simple psychological level doesnt it make sense for men to like these things too? Regardless of sexual orientation. Same with perfume, I've always liked female perfumes, and I've put it down to them being created to attract men. Also it's my hopes that I'll attract men by wearing them ^.^! Anyway. As A gay man I wont stop being me for anyone! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas.
I checked the video suggestions that come up at the end, and he does one where he asks females if he's gay too. It's interesting seeing different perspectives.
I see masculinity & femininity as a stereotyped thing when it comes to the LGBT+ community (and I guess everyone else as well). To me, gender-based stereotypes like that are a social construct, and something I wasn’t raised much with. We might perceive someone as being a certain way, but our perceptions are usually inaccurate (at least in my experience). It’s like judging a book by its cover. On a personal level, my perception of what’s masculine & feminine might be a bit different from most...I don’t always see things in term of masculinity & femininity, and I don’t usually understand it either. Another thing that those who are LGBT+ are hugely stereotyped with is the idea that there’s one person in the relationship who’s seen as more masculine or dominant (the “man” in the relationship), and the other one is seen as more feminine and submissive (the “woman” in the relationship). That stereotype drives me crazy though...it’s generally not true. I guess as a whole, people stereotype someone as being feminine if they partake in traditionally female-based behaviors, actions, sensibilities, appearance, emotions, gender roles, etc. (whatever that all means lol).
Yeah, they're always fixing glitches and whatnot. Well, it varies by location, generation, etc. I think in the beginning, they might have been based on actual biological differences, because even before written history, the two were divided by task. Your average man doesn't have an interest in makeup, for example. Women are confused by how men act with one another (and vice versa). Most people have traits, interests, personalities, that are somewhere in between the stereotypical extremes, and the rest is upbringing; being taught what's "right" and "wrong". The "ideal" man or woman encompasses all the best traits of their gender, but that's not reality.
Just the other day a guy told me (via app message) he liked that I appeared masculine. Presumably because I keep a beard. That's probably about the only "masculine" thing about me tho. I honestly don't get it all because I'm hovering somewhere around the middle I suppose. I don't think there's anything I have an interest in that would be classified as either masculine or feminine.
"would you say that I'm gay?" "Yes" "Why would you say that?" "I just saw some guy snogging your face of in the alley, and you loved it and were pitching a tripod"
Personally, I don't want to be seen as "Masc". Just because I am not flamboyant doesn't mean I am masculine, and in all honesty, I would be offended if someone just saw me as a regular guy. Being gay helps me stand out. I suppose my sexuality does define me, to an extent.
