I have posted in this group so many times before just to let it out and feel i can talk to someone about it I am a muslim girl coming from a religious family in an arab country, i have been attracted to men my whole life and i have had few crushes on girls before. I married an amazing man and had a daughter with him, i married him cz he is good not because i love him I met a girl who is also a muslim, arab, married and with a child just like me and we didnt decide to fall inlove, it just happend, that was 2 years ago and we r still madly insanely secretly inlove. We can never come out and say we r inlove, we will be doomed and disgraced maybe even killed if we come out, we cant leave our husbands for the sake of our children, we can never be together and can never be separated either We tried so many fuckin times to end wat we have and we only end up coming back stronger, it is a real torture for both our souls, i feel sometimes it is a curse She has to be away with her family sometimes which crushes my heart and i have to be with mine that it crushes her, both of us r so fuckin tired and miserable and hopeless Being a muslim also makes me think i will burn in hell cz i loved her and acted upon my feelings which is sth that wasnt in my hands I feel god is so unfair to me, why would he create me and then put me in such a test and what does he want from me?
I'm so sorry you are in such a hard place, @Heather 987. I'm not sure the opinion of an ex-Christian woman makes any difference to you, but I don't believe your love is wrong and I don't believe you will burn in hell. Do you think you would feel better if you were able to move on? Or is having part of her better than nothing? It's not an easy or good choice to have to make.
God is irrelevant in your story. You are who you are. You are proof that it is normal. God, if there is one, isn't judging you. But you live in a country where it is very dangerous to show this aspect of you. It wouldn't be God judging you,, it would be people in your culture that would be judging you and acting against you because of their fixed ideas and intolerance. So, do be careful. But be careful only because it is your culture and the fixed ideas of many in it that puts you in danger. As for in any afterlife, if there is a God you won't be punished for loving someone of the same sex. But it's the dangers in this life that sadly you must concern yourself with. Don't let anyone make you think otherwise.
I'm not a Muslim, but I believe in God and I try to follow Christian teachings (with mixed success). There are some examples in the Old Testament of what sounds like two men in love with each other (e.g., Jonathan and David); perhaps there are also two women. Also Christian churches and leaders have many different views about what it means when two people of the same sex are in love with each other and how to respond, some fully accepting of it and others not. Is there a Muslim progressive sect that is more affirming of same-sex attraction that might be a starting point for you to resolve the conflict between your attraction and your faith?
Hi Heather987 - welcome to the site! You're not alone. There are a lot of LGBT Muslims dealing with similar feelings, both in the Middle East and elsewhere in the world. And there are even places where LGBT Muslims are welcome - there are LGBT publications in Jordan, Pride celebrations in Beirut, and even LGBT-friendly mosques in Canada and Europe. Keep posting on here - there are many people who will want to help and offer whatever support they can. Keep looking too - like I say, LGBT Muslims are finding their own places in the world all the time, and perhaps they can help you too.
I'm not Muslim either. I think there are more progressive Muslim sects - such as Sufiism - but Sufis are not tolerated by some other Muslim sects. And when I say not tolerated well, I mean that some other Muslims would kill them if they could and would do so.
Hi, I am a gay moslem too like you and we have similar problem. I come from the biggest moslem country in the world. I have a wife and daughters. Yes I also feel that God is unfair, why He put us in the test of life. I have been with two gorgeous man, the first is before I married, it was for 6years together and the second after married for 14months. It was very nice and I like it all. In my heart now, if God allows me to choose I want to married with a guy. That is my dreams, and I will always struggling for my dreams in the future. I would like to do that even now I am married with a woman. One day, I hope my dreams will come true. I came out to my wife 3 months ago but she loves me much, now I still stuck to make a progress. I am separated very far because of my job. I don't know if my experience can impact to your problem but I am here with you in the same faith. DS
Fear not the wrath of God, for if there be a God whose existance is goodness and knowledge in carnate, then that being shall hold nothing against thee. Think of it this way: if there is a trully good God, then God understands you better than anyone, because God made you the way you are. You have nothing to fear from goodness. Fear nothing, escape hatred by any means, live hard, and love plenty.
Fairness is not one of God's, or Nature's, strong points...the reason we have to work so hard in life is because Nature is constantly trying to kill us, one way or another, and soon enough, whether one is a saint or a demon...it will succeed...that is massively unfair (for the saints, anyway). To live in accordance with Nature, with the reality of the Universe, means accepting unfairness as part of life. The alternative is to not accept, which means going through life as if it owes you something...and living with the torture of perpetual resentment and sadness. Accepting unfairness does NOT mean just letting undesirable things happen. If making something better is within your control, you have an obligation, as much as possible, to make it better. However, if an event is not under your control, you may find that changing your thinking about it can help. It is only bad if you think and judge that it is bad. With respect to your situation, there does not seem to be much that you can control at the present time. You are married to a good man and you have a daughter, these are both good things in your life, and they are precious, as much as possible, try to appreciate them fully. The torture and hopelessness that you feel are from your assessment that there is no possibility of moving on and acting on your true love...so then, what, in this situation can you control? Perhaps leaving your family is not an option, however, the other part; the idea that you could burn in hell...can that belief be re-examined with a more critical point of view? If you were to reject that belief, and decide that if God made you as you are, He should also accept you as you are...then leave it at that...what may happen in the long term as a consequence? What long-term plan do you think you could then put into action? If there is one thing that is certain in life, it is that nothing, no situation ever stays the same for very long...will you be ready when an opportunity to change ever arrives?
السلام علیکم I suggest you put God out of the equation. You are not punished to be a bisexual, and you will not be punished because of it. Try to get over the "why" question and move on to the "how" question. For example, how can l make the situation better for both us? How can l enjoy the time l have with her? How can l appretiate the fact that l have known her in my life? Did you know that you are very lucky that you know somebody that you truly love? By the way, as @Richard321 suggested reading about Sufism, lslamic spirituallity and Rumi's life can help a lot.
I appeciate all your responses, I do believe that if there is god i will burn in hell not because i was born bisexual, but because i have a physical contact with this girl which is cheating We kiss and we touch and we do everything that is considered cheating We decided so many times that we should stop the physical part and just become frnds but we come back to were we r Its almost gonna be 2 years now with the same flow of emotions and the same passion and same love, we still wanna see each other all the time and we still adore each others company Is this normal? I have never had that amount of love in my heart my entire life and yet i am cheating
In my opinion, what you are describing is definitely a normal part of being human. So I don't think you should worry about being normal. Were I you, I would work on figuring out through reading, praying, thinking, and talking with others how I could reconcile my religious beliefs and my human desires. I know there are a lot of different approaches to this among Christians and I assume that the same is true for other religions. Maybe you can find an approach to Islam that does not condemn being attracted to the same sex, and you can adopt that for yourself. Or maybe you can accept yourself with these attractions but decide that the best resolution for now is to stop doing what you fear may be wrong for the time being while you keep working on internal reconciliation. I don't know what is best for you. In my opinion, the problem with blaming God is that you are essentially saying that you have no choice or power, which stops the process of working through your dilemma.
Heather987, some of our beliefs / programmings are very difficult to alter, let alone to to erase. We can shift on some things, but somehow not on others. We, as individuals, have different beliefs that we get stuck on - no matter how hard we try. Yes,, we can still relatively easily bite the bullet and do something anyway, but we are aware that we will face inner turmoil / conflict afterward. This inner turmoil / conflict is, though, just inner conflict. I don't think it is God at work. Now, if we were causing harm and suffering upon others / other creatures then that would be wrong. Anyway, I don't think that God, if there is one, will have much if any issue with what you have described.
Life is difficult for you and your girlfriend at the moment. When I was young Ireland was a very homophobic country. I have often, in conversations, compared ultra conservative muslim countries to Ireland in the 1950's and 60's. The church controlled the government and society. Ireland was the kind of place where everybody pretended sexuality (straight or gay) did not exist. Forty years later we have marriage equality, we have an openly gay government leader and the relevant thing about that was that being gay was not an issue. So society can change even in ultra conservative countries like Ireland. From your post your belief in God is important to you. I don't know that much about Islam but if it is anything like Christianity there may be many interpretations of Gods rules. One glimmer of hope is that recently a local Imam invited the leaders of the LGBT community to share in the feast at the end of ramadan. Funny how the nice guys in religions get ignored and the nut-jobs in ALL religions make the headlines. Stay strong and be true to yourself. The one thing that is certain is that things will change.
