Hi, I'm looking for some advice. I met a female around 2 months ago. She's married with kids. I'm straight. We got on like a house on fire from the get-go. She told me the other night she loved me. She hadhad, had a couple of glasses of wine. At first she was texting silly things, joking around. I was eye rolling because it was getting annoying, then out of nowhere she text saying if I were a guy she would be so attracted to me. I was her twin flame. I found this strange & really uncomfortable. I was at work, so didn't text anything back. A short while later she text saying she loved me. At first I put it down to her just being drunk, but I did find the whole thing very uncomfortable. I wonderderd what that was all about, but looking back she has been very attentive, messaging me every morning. I didn't think anything of it. I am not attracted to her in the slightest, so it never entered my head to even think that the way. She was going in for an operation the next morning, so I think its strange to be drinking alcohol the night before you go for surgery. I purposely didn't text her or comment on any of her social media posts she was giving running commentary on her hospital saga, I just ignored it because I felt very uncomfortable with what she had said the night before. I was at work again, as soon as she came out of surgery, I had a few voice mails from her, telling me she was spaced out but worried about me driving home as it was late and wanted to know I was OK. I was working so I couldn't answer, but she persisted by texting me on every social media platform to see if I got her texts telling me she was worried & to drive safe. I found this even more uncomfortable that i am the first person she is contacting after her surgery instead of her husband. I've only known her for a couple if months!! I am not remotely attracted to her or interested in her. She was texting even admitting to being a bit of a stalker, but she said she couldn't help it. At first I thought it was just my imagination, but I've spoke to a couple of friends & they both find it a bit much too. Trouble is I don't know what to do. I don't want to be mean & hurt her feelings, but at the same time she has made me feel very uncomfortable & its all very weird. I feel like she has ruined the possibility of a friendship. Had I known her longer or been good friends with her I think I would have been able to sit down & work a way around it, but its a tad too strong & I don't know her. The possibility of sitting her down is a no, no. Its far too awkward for me. I don't feel I can be friends with her, but I don't want to ghost her. That's nasty, any suggestions how to go about this? Any help would be appreciated!
I would agree that her interest in you - whatever caused it - seems unhealthy at this point. Admitting to being "a bit of a stalker" but claiming that she "couldn't help it" may have been meant as an expression of affection, but it also suggests to me that she herself knows this isn't a good idea. And of course it's not a healthy expression of affection or attraction anyway. It's good that you're talking with people about what's happened - I would keep doing that if you feel like it will help. My suggestion would be to tell her that you simply aren't comfortable with your interactions anymore and would prefer that they stop. It's not unreasonable, when personal interactions with someone are making you uncomfortable, to ask for those interactions to stop. The one thing I wouldn't suggest doing, of course, is trying to talk with her husband or anything like that. That's going to be her responsibility to address, and you don't want to involve yourself in someone else's marriage or family life in that way, especially when you don't know them (I'm assuming you don't otherwise know the husband, or at least don't know him well).
