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Confused

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by Ky harding, Mar 23, 2018.

  1. Ky harding

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Female
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    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I think I am bi but I don't want to have to come out. I wish everyone could just know without me having to say anything
     
  2. Quantumreality

    Regular Member

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    Bisexual
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    Out to everyone
    Hello @Ky harding ! Welcome to EC!:slight_smile:

    I agree that it is very unfortunate that Coming Out is still a thing. Hopefully, one day, people will just be accepted for who they are and Coming Out will become completely unnecessary, but it seems that that day is still rather far off from this point in time.:frowning2:
     
  3. Smile44

    Regular Member

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    She
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    Bisexual
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    Some people
    Why does ANYBODY have to know that you are bi for? Deal with people NOT labels. The ONLY person that needs to know that you are this or that is the person that you are having a sexual relationship with. You still DON'T tell that individual all your heartfelt secrets until you have gone on many dates and had many conversations to get to know if this individual whether male or female, is compatible with who you are. In conversations, you find out how this individual deals with communication, expressing their feelings, how they deal with expressing their anger, annoyances and talk about sex to see if you are compatible in those areas. Once I talked to this individual and I joked about the things I DON'T LIKE when it comes to sex as if I liked those things, that individual was into the things I was NOT into and I NEVER had a second date with him, simply blocked this person NOT because this person was a bad person but because we where NOT compatible. (If he would have said, no I'm NOT into that, I would have simply laughed it off and said, me neither I just wanted to see if you were and I was trying to trick you and then laugh together.) If you get involved with people who are NOT compatible with you, your entire relationship will be about one or the other person trying to CHANGE you into what they like. Or you or they will nag the other about a habit, like smoking that you want them to quit but why should they quit when you accepted it in the beginning but now you are nagging the individual to stop. If you are NOT a smoker and you go out on a date with someone that is a smoker, NEXT/GOODBYE because you are NOT compatible. NOTHING wrong with NOT being compatible, go on your next blind date and see what happens on that date. Dating is like a buffet, you get many dishes/dates you taste the food/have conversations if you like the dish/date you go on another date if you DON'T like the dish/date you throw it out and choose something else to your liking. This way you are bypassing a lot of heartache and pain. Again, deal with human beings, not labels that hold folks back. EVERYBODY is NOT your friend and telling people about YOU can make you vunerable and a target for stupied crap that didn't have to happen. Who said, EVERYBODY needs to be an open book? Believe me, if you are NOT careful you will go your entire life giving out information about yourself and one day you will realize that EVERYBODY knows your entire story but you DON'T know ANYTHING about other people. This is my rule when someone asks me a question, I keep it short and simple, always honest and then I ask them the same question. If they answer it back, then I will continue, if they DON'T and they avoid the question, I no longer tell them nothing personal about myself, in a subtle way and focus on small talk that DON'T matter and he gets blocked. Dates that DON'T gets a second date gets blocked because it's NEVER easy to reject someone so just block them it is the nices way to say, we are NOT compatible.
     
  4. Smile44

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people