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Is it okay to feel attracted to other women even if you’re in a relationship?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by rainyneon, Mar 23, 2018.

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  1. rainyneon

    rainyneon
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    I’m currently in a very happy relationship with my beautiful girlfriend. I love and adore her, and am crazily attracted to her. We’ve been together for about 9 months now and have talked about our future, as we’ve said we both want a future together. I still get butterflies of excitement before seeing her. Needless to say, I’m madly in love.

    However, in my day-to-day life at work and university etc, I must admit I do still find other women attractive now and then. It’s probably a silly question, but is this okay? For example, I find my female manager at my part time job to be... pretty damn sexy. Sometimes my mind wanders and I imagine kissing her, or her seducing me. The strange thing is she looks completely different to my girlfriend. Should I feel bad about this?

    I’m not going to tell my girlfriend, but I was just wondering if it’s okay to still get little crushes occasionally, despite being in a happy relationship.
     
    #1 rainyneon, Mar 23, 2018
  2. SkyWinter

    SkyWinter
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    I think it's fine as long as it doesn't become a pre-occupying thing, or you act on it.
     
    #2 SkyWinter, Mar 23, 2018
  3. idsm

    idsm
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    On such topics I always advise people to reverse the situation.
    Would you be ok with your girlfriend having crushes and/or fantasizing about other women?
    Would you expect her to tell you or would you be happier not knowing about it?

    Of course people are different and some may be bothered while others not.
    I 'm just saying that one of the most principal behavioral rules that I try to live by is "don't do to others what you wouldn't want done to yourself".
     
    #3 idsm, Mar 24, 2018
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  4. Creativemind

    Creativemind
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    As long as you don't act on these attractions or talk about them to your SO (who might not be comfortable).
     
    #4 Creativemind, Mar 24, 2018
  5. Jax12

    Jax12
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    I think we’re all wired to “notice” attractive people, regardless of our relationship status. That’s how your mind scopes for a potential mate.

    I have a coworker who I find attractive, and finds me attractive as well, but because I’m in a monogamous relationship, I certainly will not act on those feelings of temporary satisfaction.

    I think it’s normal till you begin to act on it, then that's something to look into. The reality is if you find someone attractive, you can’t exactly stop yourself from doing that; it’s subconscious.
     
    #5 Jax12, Mar 24, 2018
    Last edited: Mar 24, 2018
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  6. TheFox

    TheFox
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    :point_up: This.
    And I would still recommend you gently open the topic with your girlfriend. :slight_smile:
     
    #6 TheFox, Mar 24, 2018
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