Ok, so this topic has been on my mind ever since I've joined the site. There have been younger users, aswell as Later-in-Lifers who described their sexually attraction to the opposite sex to be fulfilling, obviously concluding that they are straight or bisexual. BUT! For some odd reason, there are some of these people who meet this one guy or one girl, and they basically turn on the "gay" lightswitch. After that experience, they can't even imagine the thought of having sex with an opposite sex partner. So my genuine question is.... How does this work? Isn't sexuality supposed to be mostly static and you're born that way?
I believe sexuality is fluid and most people (particularly women) are somewhere on the bisexuality scale, the right person can do a lot to you sexual orientation and I like to imagine, if there was not such thing as bio sex/ gender we would fall in love with whoever regardless of outside appearance.... as humans we always evolve and change, me today is not me in 10years
Hi TheJack, I'll take your question at face value and give it a go. I think it is very important for guarding rights of us all to say your sexuality can't be changed. But maybe our sexuality it isn't what we think it is -- if we've been brought up to ignore, reject or otherwise deny some aspect of it. From the stories I see here, for gay and bi folks who might have thought (wished... lived as if...) they were straight, it is later found that with self-acceptance and maturity the parts that were blocked off when younger can now be seen. So, it isn't that the sexuality has changed, but acceptance and openness to the whole makes a difference in how we live life and define ourselves. I think we are beings who seek loving relationships -- and sure that can work for mixed-orientation couples, even when they don't realize they are mixed orientation. But maybe some folks never got the chance (until now) to realize it works so naturally/amazingly when the orientation matches. For me, the more important question is whether people can find loving partners in society, and form healthy relationships, regardless of gender of the other person. Is there still baggage, phobia, and institutional (and "traditional") power blocking that ability to finding that love? I think so, though not the same as decades ago.
Good question. I think sexuality is still a mystery as to how it is formed exactly. Much of it is determined from the days we've spend in the uterus and the first years of our life experiences and neither of that means it is a choice. In general, like taste in music or food, sexuality can be more diverse in some people but still has some boundaries. Some people are just allergic to stuff you know. And even when they're not, it doesn't mean that they should have a relationship and force it to work just to please others. Some people are more likely to have wider attractions while others more narrow. This is something one cannot decide to change because of society's pressure or inconvenience. Because many have tried and all have failed. When someone experiences sexuality in a fluid way it means that his preferences are in a spectrum in which he roams into but not in a conscious way like 'what a nice day today to like blond people'. I don't think it works that way, if someone disagrees let me know.
