This happened some years ago but I still come back to it every now and again. And it still hurts. I tried adding him on social media to see if he had changed, but he just blocked me. What happened was that I came out to him by text, and he sent a supportive text back. At the time, we were just out of our teens and would be hanging out around 2-3 times a week. I waited for him to ask me to hang out for 3 weeks after, but he never did. So, I asked him to hangout... said he was busy. So, I sort of saw it coming and asked if I could pop around his house and get my videogames as I needed them the next day etc etc. He said he’d meet me in town outside the shop. So I waited outside the shop, on my bicycle, with my earphones in. He came from behind me and just shoved the games in to my hand and walked off before I could even react. We never talked again. Its been around 6 years now and I really really feel like I should be over this 100% by now. But it still hurts. It still makes me angry. Why should he get to live his life, while the people around him probably dont even know what a homophobic cowardly asshole he is? He looks so happy with his girlfriend... It would make me so happy to wreck that relationship. She even has gay friends! Gay friends! But anything I do will just look petty. But really, I want some fucking justice. I just want him to have to feel what I felt after he rejected me. He was the first and only friend I even came out to in my home town... after he rejected me, I couldnt face anyone else... so I ran away and never came back unless to see my mum. I dont really know what advice I’m asking for here. Am I asking to be told just to get over it? Am I asking if anyone else has had a similair experience so I can get a bit of group therapy? Am I asking for a revenge plan which will stick it to this selfish wanker? I dont know. Just please. I need some closure and I dont know how to get it.
Revenge isn't the answer. You'll make yourself feel better in the moment, but you might regret it later, and you might be caught doing whatever thing it is you think is a good idea now. It hurts, but clearly this person wasn't wiling to accept you. That's not your fault. I completely understand the pain of watching the people who have hurt you go on with their life like you never mattered. But, and this is going to be tough to hear but I think it is worth considering, you actually didn't matter to them. Who you are wasn't important to them. That's why it was so easy for them to push you away. If you had mattered they probably wouldn't have done that. Perhaps in the end this is a good thing? If you are looking for closure then why don't you find it in your post? What I mean is, your story, of how you were mistreated, is an example of how people shouldn't behave towards those coming out. Be the person who turns tragedy into power. Kisses.
Honestly, if the person rejected you just because of the way that you are, you don't need that kind of person in your life. A true friend would just accept you for who you are, instead of shunning you and pushing you away. It's not your fault you are the way you are, and it isn't your fault that he pushed you away. -k
You feel hurt and wounded and that's totally understandable, but life moves on and we create a new narrative, with new people - hopefully decent, authentic people who are not blinded by prejudice. That's a good and healthy thing to do and it should be where you focus all of your energy now. You didn't choose to be gay, but he did choose to behave badly and walk away from your friendship for the shallowest of reasons. That says enough about him and you don't need to have revenge. Trust me, life dishes out its own revenge on people like him. Taking revenge on him would only demonstrate that you are capable of bad choices too. Forget all about him and don't follow his activity on social media or anywhere else. If your intention is to confine him to the dustbin of the past, make it a reality. While you are following him and thinking about him he maintains a hold over you. He doesn't deserve to have any part of you anymore.
I understand your need for closure. If you know his address, you could write him a letter and tell him what you want to say to him. Whether he reads it or not (I'm betting he will), you may at least gain the closure you are seeking. Don't expect a response though, don't even hope for one.
I had this happen to me when I was 17. I did have a crush on the friend at the time as well. I didn't tell him my feelings, I don't know what really happened but I have always suspected that a mutual friend who is very two faced, decided to put the thought in his mind (I wasn't out to anyone then, but people suspected). It seemed bluntly final to me at the time and very crushing. I tried to talk to him years later and he still refuses to talk to me. He can't even be bothered to ask if I did have feelings for him. Life moves on dude, don't feel angry with him, feel sorry for him for being like this.
