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Bad Reception

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by e6000, Mar 21, 2018.

  1. e6000

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    My family is in general really bad at how they receive queer media. It really upsets me, but I'm almost forced to go along with it if I don't want to out myself. Is there any good way to call out their being casually homophobic and transphobic without seeming suspicious?
     
  2. Maximum

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    My family is kind of the same way. I have younger siblings and since my parents never taught me about social issues (LGBT, Feminism, Racism, etc.) so I made sure I give my siblings information about that stuff, I had to educate myself and if I hadn't I can't imagine what a bitch I would be today. Well, one time I called my dad out on it, he was saying stuff about how guys wearing leggings and skinny jeans being gay or whatever so I asked him what was wrong with that. He never gave a response and I haven't heard him pull that kind of thing again. It worked for me, and I don't know if this will help or not to be honest.
     
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  3. e6000

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    What sucks is that my family is good about everything else except for this.
    And it's pretty direct, too. My brother is still using "gay" as an insult, and thinks that all trans people are mentally ill for how they identify, and my dad once made fun of a student he had using non-traditional pronouns. I just don't know how to respond to these things without anyone getting suspicious.
     
  4. Maximum

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    Do you have any LGBT friends? I know it kind of sucks having to use your friends identity for your own personal reasons. When one of my friends came out my dad said something about it and I told him that one of my friends was gay and that him saying those things made me feel uncomfortable. Sorry if this is doesn't help, I just hope you'll figure things out.
     
  5. Laplacian

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    My family, particularly my dad, is the same way. I always am silent during the exchanges and refuse to take part. I sometimes ask pointed questions like Maximum mentioned ('What's wrong with that?') or just give them looks conveying that I don't agree without taking it too far. I too don't want to come out, otherwise I'd argue every time. To be honest, they're probably suspecting very heavily at the moment anyway... But I feel like just because someone stands up for LGBT+ people, or just injustice/unfairness in general, it won't necessarily make people suspect that that someone is a part of that marginalised group. They often will try and make a jab by accusing you of being gay because you're standing up for them or whatever, but won't really mean it? Mostly because they won't want to believe it if they're homophobic, but yeah... It's hard to walk the line between standing up for yourself and coming out accidentally.

    So you can just try your best not to join in. If they start up, you can just look down at your phone and ignore them, or literally just keep watching the media and block them out that way. If you feel comfortable (well, that's unlikely, but at least a little confident), you can challenge their views not directly but just perhaps ask them why they feel a certain way. Often times things they're saying have absolutely no logic behind them and are just stemmed in pure hate so they'll have trouble coming up with a response. That can make them think about it. If they question themselves a lot, maybe eventually they'll start to be less hateful. That's what's starting to happen with my family, at least. It is a little better.