I consider myself my bi, but my eyeballs and my sexual fantasies are often at odds. I'm looking mostly at women, but fantasizing mostly about men. Sometimes a guy catches my eye. Sometimes I'm fantasizing about women. Why such a weird difference? Why wouldn't I be fantasizing about women more and men less if I'm mostly looking at women?
This can happen pretty commonly in the early stages of identifying one's sexual self. It's possible there's a rift between unconscious and conscious mind, so that what you're looking at is more driven by conscious, and fantasies by unconscious. Our conscious mind is cluttered by judgments for who we want ourselves to be, while our unconscious mind is less impacted by that. I don't have a clear answer on how to solve the riddle, but I can tell you that in general, the more you simply let things be, and observe, usually over time things become clearer.
Thanks for the reply. I'm not sure I would consider myself in the early stages, but that could be true. Not many people know I'm bi, so there could be a block there I suppose.
Or it could be you find the female form more visually alluring, but with the physical act of sex you like the idea of being with a guy more... The idea of all bisexuals have a solid 50/50 split attraction to both genders equally is pretty silly and from polls and reading threads on this and other forums seems to be the minority. While most people seem like one gender a bit more than the other. I tend to be a bit more picky about the guys I seem to fantasize compared to women. You don't have to try and explain or categorize your sexual attraction, you like who you like.
