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Small Town Stigma

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Maximum, Mar 19, 2018.

  1. Maximum

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    I guess this is kind of a rant and a few things I've been wanting to get off of my chest about living in a rural community. Now don't get me wrong, my town is great- there's a few people out of the closet and like mostly everyone is pretty accepting but my school has only 345 kids, my whole highschool. Everyone knows everyone or at least has heard of them, but I'm scared that if I come out, I'll be known as that gay athlete because there's none of those. And what if the team isn't comfortable around me? During the season we see each other six days a week and are each others second family. And ever since I've started questioning I've made sure to keep my eyes in my own space, (except there was this one time where two girls just squeezed each others bare boobs and I'm sure they're straight? maybe??) but I don't want to lose them or my other drama friends. And there's no LGBT dating apps, not for youth ,or girls on girls anyhow (PLEASE tell me if I'm wrong), and I can't exactly just go up to a girl and ask if we can 'hang out', without word spreading like wildfire. AAGH, okay so any advice on this? Or just rant below sometimes we just gotta let crap out.
     
  2. Destin

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    I totally get the small town thing - Yea it totally sucks. 345 kids in your school? You're lucky... one of the places I lived the entire middle school was about 70 kids. Like no joke - the school only had four classrooms because they could fit all of us into four rooms of 18 people per room. I was the new kid too since I had just moved there from another state. Good luck making friends when the entire school knows everything about each other and you're the only new one nobody knows. Only lived there for a year but wow that year sucked badly.

    There's probably dating apps for just girls out there somewhere, I don't know any though. The girls squeezing each others boobs is kind of odd for straight girls. Its like every straight guys fantasy to watch that happen though haha, so you got lucky being able to see it in person!
     
  3. Maximum

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    Bisexual
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    Not out at all
    Well, the whole boob thing was before I started questioning, but I think about it a lot. I probably think about it too much to make me completely straight now that I realize it. But anyways one of the girl's who did it is rumored to have kissed another girl in like seventh grade I think? I don't know middle school kind of just blends together. And she is HOT. Holy shit she is really good looking and really nice too. But anyways...

    We have a smaller town than us pretty close by, and they can only go as far as seventh grade so once they hit highschoolish years the have to either come to us or another nearby school. And also, we have ONE WHOLE STOPLIGHT in town! Like, we're SO fancy :blush:
     
  4. quebec

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    Maximum...Hi and welcome to empty closets. I really get the small school thing. I was a teacher, not a student in a four-year high school of 350 kids for eight years. Our town didn't even have a stop light! Yeah...everybody knows everything about everyone. So...coming out at that school might not be a good idea right now. Being the first person to step into that spotlight will be very tough and I know kids can be pretty bad to someone who is different. You don't say how old you are/what grade you're in. If you're say a senior, then waiting until after you graduate would be best. However, if you are a freshman...that's different. You also haven't said anything about your parents...do you think they would be supportive? For now I would suggest spending time here on empty closets to help you learn more about yourself and to have EC as an outlet...a place where you can be safe and be yourself! Give it a little time and let us get to know you more. We'll be able to help a lot easier as we get to know you! Hey...have a good week...so glad you found us!
    ....David
     
  5. Loves books

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    I was in a small all girls school of 200. The boys school had even less students. Calling someone a lesbian was the biggest insult ever. I was just glad I didn't go to my friends school. There was only 8 students in her year and she was the only girl. Small towns are everywhere in Ireland. I now go to a college of thousands so things change
     
  6. Maximum

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    Not out at all
    I'm a sophomore and so close to varsity, I even got to play at state with them- like I won't do anything I want to do (like dye my hair or get a tattoo) just because I don't want to stand out. It's a team sport- I have to blend you know? And of course they couldn't cut me because of something like that but I know that it wouldn't help. My parents... my parents are great, I just don't want things to change. I don't want them to think I can't spend the night with my friends anymore because they're girls and what if it's a mistake right. And there are gay people here and out but there's social groups of course, and I fit into three of them, and in two of them I know everyone would accept me, but I just don't know about the jocks. My parents never really talked about gay people when I was little, but my dad would say crap like, 'hey that guy's wearing skinny jeans, so gay!' but that's the most he's ever done. And one of my best friends, I love her to pieces and I don't know why this bothers me so much but she says this a lot, 'I love gay people, they're the best!'. I don't know it kind of makes me feel like her favorite animal or something? Trust me, I love gay people too, like the girls you know, but like just because they're not completely out of my uh team I guess? I know, I shouldn't get bothered by little stuff like this, it makes life a whole lot harder. I can't go to my Pride this year because I won't be able to drive yet and I think something like that would help? Has anybody been to Pride?
     
  7. quebec

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    Hey Maximum...Yeah...I'd like to go to Pride to but right now it's not really an option. Wow, gay people wear skinny jeans? Then I guess there are a whole lot more gay people than I thought! And, well, yeah I wear skinny jeans. I swear it has nothing to do with being gay...but I do have to admit that a cute guy in skinnies can get my attention! I can understand the problem with your team mates. Locker room, etc. could become a real issue if you were out and they didn't accept it or if their parents found out and had a fit...not good. It seems to me that being out where you are right now isn't going to be easy. I do think you will need some time to work out how to make it happen and when.
    Here is a great story I heard about a High School football player who came out the Summer before his senior year.

    When FB practice started the guys in the locker room were acting strange. He turned to them and said; "I'm no different this year than any of the other years we played together, you just know something about me that you didn't know before. Besides, what makes you think I think any of you are cute?" Really savage....it totally cracked me up.

    Hey it's good that you are sharing the things that are bothering you...getting them out and talking about them can help a lot in learning to dealing with them! Hey....talk to you again soon...
    ....David
     
  8. Destin

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    Haha I love this so much! I'm totally using this if a friend ever starts acting weird around me like that. It's kinda true though - I don't know why guys seem to think every gay dude is into them. They aren't into every girl they see so why would a gay guy be into every dude he sees.