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Nervous about getting tested

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by Kyrielles, Mar 20, 2018.

  1. Kyrielles

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    Okay so sexually I've only been with one person, which currently I am still with. We've been together for quite awhile, in the beginning and for probably our first almost year of dating and sexual encounters stds/stis were never a thought for me, I'd never been with anyone aside from her, and I assumed since she hadn't mentioned it really that she'd only been with around 3 people overall so chances were slim, it wasn't a thought. As time went on and I actually got to really know her I figured out that she had actually been with numerous people 20+ that I know of for sure, so probably more, male and female, stds/stis became more of a thought to me. I just kind of let that thought slip me for awhile, I mean I've never had any odd things happen down there or sexually, so I just put it in the back of my mind. Lately I've been reading things though and informing myself more and it makes me want to make an appointment to get tested, but then the thought of it makes me super nervous. Like what if someone I know works there? What if although I've only been with one person I have an underlying std or sti? It really kind of scares me in a way. I've mentioned to my partner that I'd like to get tested and that if she wanted we could just go together, but she legit has an ignorant answer of, well we don't have anything wrong and we're not planning on being with anyone else so what's the point. That just irritates me and I'm going to be honest on some level kind of makes me more nervous about it, because I mean her being down to go would definitely make it easier for me and ease my mind a little about it, and her just having such a stupid answer makes me wonder if maybe she thinks she has something. And really just being how my luck goes usually something would probably come back positive and I really do not know what I would do or how I would feel about that. Then again everything coming back negative would definitely soothe my mind a ton.
     
  2. Destin

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    The longer you wait, the more its going to bother you. So go get tested and put your mind at ease even if she won't go with you. You could try explaining to her that you just want to make sure you're both healthy so the point is making you feel better about it.
     
  3. smurf

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    There a lot of things going on. Main thing is breathe. It will all be fine!

    I know you are worried and we have been taught that STIs are super scary, but I do want to let you know that the number of past partners have nothing to do whether the person has a higher chance of getting something. 20+ partners and only 3+ partners have the same chance of STIs if they had safer sex. That is to say, don't freak out just because there is a higher number.

    How are you getting your STI test? If you have insurance, then going to your regular doctor and asking for a test will be great. Its also free as long as the doctor doesn't do anything else during the visit. Just let them know in advance. That way you don't get nervous about getting tested.

    If you are going to go to a health center, then you are fine. EVERYONE there is most likely for something embarrassing. They are going to be just as nervous as you.

    And if the test comes back positive don't be scared. Literally the worst thing that can happen is that you test positive, you take one single pill and you stop having sex for a week, and then you are fine after a week. Nothing else happens afterward. There are no health risks associated with having an STI, there are no major side effects with the medicine, and it feels like taking tylenol for a headache.

    I want you to see the ask that you made your partner. You said "If she wanted to" when you really meant "I need you to do this with me so I can stop having anxiety about this".

    Tell her that you need her to come with you. That you need to put this to rest and that you want her to support you through this whole process. That yes it might not make sense, but it doesn't have to make sense for her to be able to support you through this.

    If you tell her that and STILL she refuses to go with you, then you have bigger problems in your relationship than just the possibility of an STI.

    And the end of the day, just go for it.
     
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  4. Richard321

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    I know what you mean about the anxiety of going to any sexual health clinic for testing - what will it be like, what if someone there recognises me or works there, etc? Well, if someone there recognises me then they are there for the same reason as me. And if someone who works there knows me then they are supposed to maintain confidentiality. We can even have a phobia about going to such places. Why not just go there on yourself? If you are clear of all things then your girlfriend probably is too. If you are not clear of all things he then your girlfriend probably isn't either. Then deal with it. You and her are probably clear. You'll get reassurance. If, by some slim chance, you are not clear of all things then deal with it then.
     
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