I’m pathetic

You say you are not the greatest guy out there, but what does it mean to be the greatest? Isn't it a matter of perspective what makes someone great? My idea of greatness could be your idea of a nightmare. You should be very careful about making sweeping statements about yourself.

It is not pathetic or weak to cry. I simply will not have that idea from anyone and if you are setting yourself up to not cry in front of anyone ever again, you are setting yourself up for a big fall. I will not advise you how to do something like that.

If somebody calls you weak or pathetic for crying they are a bloody fool and it says far more about them than it does about you. Crying comes from a place of honesty and vulnerability and that's a good thing; something to be applauded and respected. The idea that real men don't cry is utter bullshit. I really worry about people who have this idea and try to live to it because they are like volcanoes. Do you want to be another male volcano, with lots of bottled up angst and torment? I hope not, because the world has enough of these men already.

A willingness to cry, a willingness to show your vulnerability in company is not weakness. Rather, it's a great measure of courage and personal strength.

 

It's really not healthy for someone to bottle up their emotions. If you do decide to start hiding your emotions from people (which I don't recommend you do, assuming the people you are vulnerable around are caring and supportive) you need to find a way to express your emotions whether it be through writing or even going to talk to a therapist, lots of times you can just do talk therapy, just to learn to cope with your emotions in a healthy way. Regardless of what you decide, good luck.

 

I think it takes a lot of strength to cry infront of someone.

 

Men don't cry is a bunch of crap. Just something in society that is WRONG. I am a Midwestern country guy and I have cried many times. Nothing to be ashamed of at all. I don't know if you are familiar with the USA show Star Trek. There was an character name Mr. Spock, from the planet Vulcan. Vulcans didn't show any emotions, I use to think how great that would be, this was at the time in my life when I started to realize that I was not straight. I ask you this, what would the world be with out emotion? What would we be as humans? Just all a bunch of non feeling robots?

I think you are stronger than you realize!
Dean

 

Just out of curiosity, what was it that made you cry those times? Did somebody insult you? Did you just receive some bad news? Was it physical pain? A sad song or movie? There are lots of different reasons for crying and none of them are particularly bad, but it might help us to help you if we can understand your emotions better.

Also, who were these people you cried in front of? Friends? Relatives? Colleagues? You didn't tell us how they reacted to seeing you cry. Did they make fun of you, criticize you, or did they offer to comfort you? These things might factor into how you're feeling.

While I agree with the above posters that it does take strength to cry, there are times when people do need to keep their emotions in check. For example crying in front of customers at work is quite unprofessional and embarrassing and puts your livelihood and confidence at risk, so those are times when you definitely do want to put your personal feelings aside and express them later in a more suitable environment, and I'm wondering if this is the sort of situation you need help with.

 

Go buy the book,"The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" By Mark Manson, Hope that helps, PEACE and LOVE.

 

Well said and I agree 75%, mostly because it sounded beautiful and righteous and who in their right mind would disagree with that noteworthy rhetoric. It's NOTHING wrong with wanting to have CONTROL over your emotions. Being the type of individual that cry's at the drop of a hat in the world's eyes, not mine because I agree with you somewhat, is pathetic to this bible thumping false religious viewpoint of the world's backward thinking and the judgemental twisted world system of things we all live in on the globe. I want to help people in this chat room not blow smoke up their asses with a nice church speech and then send them on their way (that only made you feel better). My ex-fiance was sensitive. He cried at the drop of a hat, he thought folks was his friend when they weren't, he always needed other people to be around him because he hated being alone. That is a lot of character flaws, dear sir. You need to have BALANCE in everything you do, including having control over your emotions, so they will NOT betray you at the drop of a hat. Of course, men should show their emotions and be able to express how they feel, everybody should, both men and women should, however, both men and woman should have control over their emotions too. There is a time when your emotions may get the best of you like when tragedy suddenly strikes, like a death of a loved one or a break up with someone you love. With a breakup that is debatable, if you should cry or NOT especially if they cheated on you, you probably should hold that in until you get somewhere alone and then cry like a baby, that's just me, why allow someone who is breaking your heart into two pieces, to see you at your lowest point when they put you in that position, they will NOT care. So, my point is, there are a time and place for everything, even crying because we ALL are being raised and molded by the same worldview, fake religious system, backward judgemental system of things and mean societies. So for you to tell this young man that he should allow his emotions to flow like a stream and be REAL because we already have enough barbaric men in the world that hide their emotions is WRONG. This young man needs to know the truth about the world we live in. EVERYBODY will judge you if you cry all the time and see that as a weakness. Yes, that is wrong and that type of information has the potential to make anybody want to bottle up their emotions. But you don't have to bottle up your emotions. You just get your emotions under control and remove yourself from the situation and then allow your emotions to flow whichever way they need to until you feel better. Your wife, mother, and father (maybe father depending on what type of dad he was) and some friends can be a sounding board for your true emotions but if you are going to make it in the workforce, friend force, outside world etc., you can't be crying at the drop of a hat because people will judge you, talk about you and laugh at you because this world is cruel period. This entire system of things in this world is a board game, called the game of life and if you don't know how to play the game, you will be either a homeless emotional person or the weird guy at the office party that nobody talks to because he is a crier that makes everybody feel uncomfortable because most folks don't care that you are crying, (maybe the first and second time but after that you are just weird and to damn needy and people will label you. (Think about this before you start hammering away on your keyboard to give me a reply, just meditate on my words and then say your right.)
PEACE and LOVE

 

I wanted you to read a reply I sent to another individual.

This is the reply to him, from me that I wanted you to read. I agree with the gentleman about what he said about greatest. Just to add a bit more to his comment about greatness. It's overrated, who in the hell ever said somebody had to be great, be whatever you are, and make that the standard for greatness.

Well said and I agree 75%, mostly because it sounded beautiful and righteous and who in their right mind would disagree with that noteworthy rhetoric. It's NOTHING wrong with wanting to have CONTROL over your emotions. Being the type of individual that cry's at the drop of a hat in the world's eyes, not mine because I agree with you somewhat, is pathetic to this bible thumping false religious viewpoint of the world's backward thinking and the judgemental twisted world system of things we all live in on the globe. I want to help people in this chat room not blow smoke up their asses with a nice church speech and then send them on their way (that only made you feel better). My ex-fiance was sensitive. He cried at the drop of a hat, he thought folks was his friend when they weren't, he always needed other people to be around him because he hated being alone. That is a lot of character flaws, dear sir. You need to have BALANCE in everything you do, including having control over your emotions, so they will NOT betray you at the drop of a hat. Of course, men should show their emotions and be able to express how they feel, everybody should, both men and women should, however, both men and woman should have control over their emotions too. There is a time when your emotions may get the best of you like when tragedy suddenly strikes, like a death of a loved one or a break up with someone you love. With a breakup that is debatable, if you should cry or NOT especially if they cheated on you, you probably should hold that in until you get somewhere alone and then cry like a baby, that's just me, why allow someone who is breaking your heart into two pieces, to see you at your lowest point when they put you in that position, they will NOT care. So, my point is, there are a time and place for everything, even crying because we ALL are being raised and molded by the same worldview, fake religious system, backward judgemental system of things and mean societies. So for you to tell this young man that he should allow his emotions to flow like a stream and be REAL because we already have enough barbaric men in the world that hide their emotions is WRONG. This young man needs to know the truth about the world we live in. EVERYBODY will judge you if you cry all the time and see that as a weakness. Yes, that is wrong and that type of information has the potential to make anybody want to bottle up their emotions. But you don't have to bottle up your emotions. You just get your emotions under control and remove yourself from the situation and then allow your emotions to flow whichever way they need to until you feel better. Your wife, mother, and father (maybe father depending on what type of dad he was) and some friends can be a sounding board for your true emotions but if you are going to make it in the workforce, friend force, outside world etc., you can't be crying at the drop of a hat because people will judge you, talk about you and laugh at you because this world is cruel period. This entire system of things in this world is a board game, called the game of life and if you don't know how to play the game, you will be either a homeless emotional person or the weird guy at the office party that nobody talks to because he is a crier that makes everybody feel uncomfortable because most folks don't care that you are crying, (maybe the first and second time people will care but after that, you are just weird and too damn needy and people will label you. (Think about this before you start hammering away on your keyboard to give me a reply, just meditate on my words and then say your right.)
PEACE and LOVE