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Any Experience Being Tall and MTF?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Frea, Mar 16, 2018.

  1. Frea

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    I measured myself a couple days ago and I learned I'm actually 6'4" and currently male. I have a lot of anxiety about transitioning around my height. If I transitioned, I feel that I will be visibly trans and that bothers me because I am really weak at defending myself from others people's berating. Will it be difficult for a while and taper off? Or will I always just be so tall that I'm going to always be identified and that will be my life?

    One of my biggest fears is that I will be very tall and no men will date me because of my height.

    I feel that I'm not really living my life anymore and I'm just coasting. I want to gather real like experience from others to build an understanding of the challenges I may face in the future. I want to be prepared before I blindly go out and say "Hey! I'm trans"
     
  2. Hanyauku

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    Hi Frea,

    I haven't begun transitioning, though I am planning on starting soon. But this worries me, too. I'm somewhere between 6'0" and 6'1", so definitely on the taller side for a girl. Yes, you're tall, but there are tall girls out there. My babysitter from when I was a kid was probably 6'4" or 6'5".I come from a tall family, where I'm the shortest "boy", and I have a sister who is almost 6'0" and a female cousin who is taller than me. As trans people, were always concerned about fitting in as our target gender. And there are a lot of reasons, not just height, that we might not "pass". It's unfortunate, but it's true. I think the best thing we can do is be as confident in who we are as possible. So many things in life come down to confidence. Whether that be pulling off a particular outfit, asking someone out, doing well in work or school. You can get away with a lot of things if you believe in what you're trying to do. I'm sorry I can't offer more advice as someone who has actually gone through the world presenting as a tall woman, but I wish you all the best. Have a good day! :slight_smile:

    PS, it is true that some men are intimidated by tall girls, but I know a lot of guys who are really in to tall women, so I wouldn't worry too much about that.
     
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  3. AbsoluteNerd

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    Like the above poster, I wouldn't say I have any experience, but I do share your fears being almost 6'3" myself. I guess we just have to do the best we can. Good luck on your journey

    -Christine
     
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  4. stoutdriver79

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    I do have a friend who has transitioned, living as female, etc. And she is over 6 feet tall. She gets looks but is a used to it.
     
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  5. JaimeGaye

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    Have any of you been tested for Klinefelter Syndrome?
    It is a chromosomal anomaly that codes a male DNA strand XXY rather than XY.
    I have this and frankly it has played holy hell on me my entire life.
    Symptoms can include psychological feelings of being more a woman than a man and physically it can make you more effeminate in body style but it can also curse you with a taller than average height.
    Most KS guys are over 6 feet. I'm 6'1"
    As for sexual orientation, there is no conclusive proof that KS makes a guy gay nor does it cause transsexual dysphoria though I often wonder if this may be because those affected are not being completely honest when questioned.

    Testosterone injections are utilized when KS is detected early in life to offset the increase in estrogen KS causes.
    I began refusing the injections at 12 because all they were doing for me was turning me into a very aggressive little kid who fought savagely, but like a girl...

    Frankly, I wish I would have been offered Estrogen injections and been allowed an Orchiectomy (Removal of testicles) at a pre-pubescent age. I would have willingly and voluntarily accepted.

    I may not have ended up looking like a full on female but at least I could have told my partners "Sorry, I CAN'T top you because I was neutered as a child." rather than getting into the arguments about why I would not top them because that has never been my thing.

    While I myself could be quite comfortable living as a woman I realized early on my body shape just wasn't going to meet the generally accepted guidelines of feminine form.
    Consequently I have learned to live life looking like a man who tends to dress very gender neutral and feeling every bit a woman inside.

    Something you may want to consider looking into anyway.
     
    #5 JaimeGaye, Mar 17, 2018
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2018
  6. LaurenSkye

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    I myself am a guy who is feminine and likes to dress feminine. I am 6'6" (it runs in the family), and have a very difficult time finding women's clothes that fit me. My best bet is to by a relatively short dress and wear it as a long shirt. Even plus size clothing can be too short for me. It's even difficult at times to find men's clothes that fit me.
     
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  7. wickedwitch

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    If you google "tall women's clothing" there are stores that come up. There used to be a store called "Tall Girl" in Canada...they may have changed their name. Hope this helps.
     
  8. Frea

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    Hi Jaime, this is honestly the first time that I have heard of Klinefelter Syndrome and I will do some research on it. I'm sorry to hear that you had such a struggle after being diagnosed at such a young age. I couldn't imagine such a decision being put on a someone at such a young age.

    I'm glad that you found a middle ground that works for you. I am also dressing more neutral and had at least had the facial hair removed on my neck.
     
  9. Frea

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    I will keep my eye out!
     
  10. Frea

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    This is such a good idea. I wish I had thought of it! I worry about finding shoes and you're right; it's hard enough to find clothes that fit as a tall man let alone a tall woman.
     
  11. Frea

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    One thing that really sticks out to me is the confidence part. From what I've read, woman who have transitioned eventually learn that if you're confident, then others leave you alone, or take you more seriously. I hope I learn to gain that confidence in myself. I read a lot about 'passing' and I learned recently that many try to actually pass as a woman, while some are forced to be more congruent with their target gender to reduce harassment. When I did learn that, I became more concerned again and realized I need to be prepared for this sort of struggle.
     
  12. Foxfeather

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    i am your inverted twin. Short as shortbread and FTM.
     
  13. LaurenSkye

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    That is another concern of mine. I wear men's size 13 wide, and I still have to get shoes that stretch a little bit in the toes. Plus, I suspect that my left foot may be a bit bigger than my right, and so at times it feels like my right shoe is just a bit too big.
     
  14. Arrasha

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    Hiiiiiiii, actually hon it's alot easier than you would think, I still don't pass 100% of the time there's certain angles or old masculine mannerisms that sometimes pop out but for the most part, passerbys either don't know or care ...
    I'll tell you though, you have to mentally be a brick when confronted by a person with their own *opinion* which is just another way to harass.... but do you, just focus on you NOT them, and after awhile you'll start to feel yourself slowly not caring or even noticing those glances, stares, just hold that head high and keep doing you.

    Hope any of this helped