I finally have reached the point where I want to and feel ready to come out to my friends. They frequently use homophobic slurs, and it bothers me a lot. I don't think that they genuinely hate all gay people, but it definitely makes me more nervous to tell them that I'm gay. I think they'd be surprised to find out I'm gay, but I'm not sure. Does anyone have any advice or experience in a similar situation?
I’ve just recently come out and it was traumatic until I actually told someone. The thought of coming out made me so anxious I was sick to my stomach! Everyone I told was awesome! My sister, who made a lot of gay jokes and her seemingly homophobic husband were actually understanding. People sometimes say and act one way but when you put a face to the title they realize at the end of the day you are a human being and they love you. Someone recently posted the best advice I’ve read. Have the courage to be yourself, tell those who mean the most and at the end of the day focus on those who support you. Don’t come out angry or looking for a fight. Simply say, I hope you accept me as gay, because I’m the same person you accepted as your friend! Be strong, use this site for support and rock the rest of your life!!!
I agree with 21zephyr in tell the people who mean the most and focus on those that support you in general. I’d only add that others may find out in the process down the road unbeknownst to you if you’re not already sure in advance about the reaction and subsequent trustworthiness of the people you’re telling. Hope that makes sense... I’m just saying secrets get spilled sometimes. As far as slurs... as unpopular as it may be to admit it to some on the site here... even I do it with the simple “that’s gay” thing. I can remember saying the phrase since I was a kid and having those around me say it as well. There wasn’t gay hatred behind it. I’m guessing that even as I come out of the closet I’ll still continue to use the phrase when I think it fits, but as always being mindful of who I’m around. I don’t think simple things like that are true slurs or set any kind of movement back or should offend the gay masses... but in today’s world where everyone feels picked on and has a cause, I’m sure some are indeed offended... and who am I to say they’re wrong in that. I just don’t think some slurs are evidence people might be gay haters. Although some may be. Again, just my opinion. My grandmother used to use the word ‘gay’ to mean ‘happy’. Although maybe that’s not a good point considering she was annoyed by both happy people as well as gays. Lol
Althought people here use homophobic slurs alot, it's mostly just swearing like 'f*ck' or 'as*hole'. Sure there are gay-haters, but you can easily tell who is genuily hating or not.
Thanks to everyone who offered me advice. I think that there's a lot of truth to what you've all said. I might tell some of my closest friends in the coming weeks, but I think that it would be best for me to come out to others this fall when I won't have a roommate. I really appreciate your support.
