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Is She Into me Or Nah? How Do I know?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by themostfly, Nov 24, 2017.

  1. themostfly

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    I have a roommate and we arent exactly on the best terms
     
  2. silverhalo

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    What about out for a movie or something?
     
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  3. themostfly

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    So... I think I"m just not going to pursue her. She's leaving in May/June. It's probably a bad idea. I'll keep you all updated if things change.
     
  4. idsm

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    Why is she leaving? Is she going too far away? And for how long? Has anything else happened since your last update?
     
  5. themostfly

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    She is leaving indefinitely for her postdoc and yeah it's quite a distance away. I havent communicated with her much lately. I've just been thinking about it
     
  6. themostfly

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    She invited me to a Galentine's Day celebration last week. I think that official means she's either 1. not lesbian or 2. I got friendzoned lol Nice ride while it lasted.
     
  7. themostfly

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    Update:

    Last week, we met at a lounge and hung out. I feel like I've been super awkward around her lately. She mentioned exchanging numbers with a guy and how she wants a fuck buddy. That's the first time she's talked about a guy at all.

    A few days later, I decided to come out to her. She was very supportive but never said anything about her sexuality. Today, I saw her and we talked a bit about it. After that, she mentions making out with the aforementioned guy and how he's not the guy and she's still horny etc.

    I took that to mean she's straight or at least not interested in me. I guess that's that.

    I feel hurt - not her fault - because it's so rare for me to ever like anyone. Those are the breaks though.
     
  8. silverhalo

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    Aww that's tough, it's always difficult in these situations but you have to try and look at the positives, it's nothing you did wrong, you made a friend and you managed to come out to her which you weren't sure you would be able to do, so hopefully next time it will all be a bit easier.
     
  9. idsm

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    Damn... why are girls like that?

    I almost feel I have been lead on.
    Sigh...
     
  10. themostfly

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    I don't feel I've learned anything. It's a waste of time. I don't want her friendship. It is what it is.
     
  11. silverhalo

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    Why don't you want her friendship?
     
  12. themostfly

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    So I can be friends with someone whom I shared something I really didn't want to share? I don't want to be friends with someone I am or was attracted. She's leaving in a few months. I have nothing to gain with her friendship. Nothing against her at all. I guess I'm immature. I'm okay with that.
     
  13. silverhalo

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    I don't think it makes you immature these situations are difficult and often there is no right or wrong answer. I know it feels bad right now but it will get better.
     
  14. themostfly

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    I'm not the type of person that it gets better for. I don't and won't forget or forgive myself. It's additive. Thanks for your constant support on this thread though. She texted me earlier and I swiftly decline and will continue to do so. It's whatever now.
     
  15. silverhalo

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    It can get better for anyone but you have to try and keep that belief in your mind. I know maybe in the past things haven't gotten better but honestly it doesn't mean they can't in the future.
     
  16. themostfly

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    Sure.
     
  17. silverhalo

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    Why do you feel nothing ever works out for you?
     
  18. themostfly

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    It's not how I feel. It's just a reality. This time I at least was able to distance myself enough to not be attached, and now that I'm aware of how she identifies, I can further detach myself without being hurt more than necessary.

    Unlike most people, I've never even had a "pretend" boyfriend/girlfriend like almost everyone has by the time they've finished high school let alone an actual one as an adult. I haven't even been on more than 1 date, and I wouldn't hardly know if someone was interested while maybe being interested in 4 people in my entire life. Just interested.

    Some small part of me still wanted to hope that outside of my other imperfections as a person that I could find at least a companion or someone who just liked me enough to want to have sex with me. I think it's okay for me to give up on that at this point. I was already 99% there.
     
  19. silverhalo

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    I know that you probably aren't going to believe me because of your current mindset but I was in a similar position to you. I don't know exactly how old you are but as I grew up I never had a boyfriend or girlfriend. In my teens it never happened it bothered me but I always used to think it will happen one day it's just because I am a bit shy etc, but I went to college and everyone else was getting with each other and stuff and still nothing, then it really started to bother me, I thought nobody is ever going to want me, I thought there was something wrong with me. I got to my mid 20's and I'd never even been on a date and then that bothered me as well because I felt that people already didn't want me and because of that they would want me even less but then one day I met my girlfriend and I've never looked back, it honestly can happen.
     
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  20. themostfly

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    I'm happy that happened for you, but you're an exception based on statistics I've seen. I'm 30. I don't know anyone - and I have some fairly nerdy and introverted friends like myself - who has less sexual or dating experience than me. I fall wayyyyyy below average, and in most cases like that, there are good reasons why. Even my bff who is Nigerian/Muslim has been on far more dates than me despite her parents being very strict about who she can/can't date.