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Before you came out as trans, what made you realize you were unhappy?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Turkey50, Mar 11, 2018.

  1. Turkey50

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    Before coming out as trans, what made you realize you were unhappy? Some people didn't realize how unhappy they were until they transitioned and became a bit happier. What was that experience like to you? How was it making that leap of faith?
     
  2. Harjus

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    I was always really unhappy. I tried to avoid transitioning but at the end I had no strength to keep living like I did. I chose life and transitioned. I am still dealing with a lot of issues but it's getting better.
     
  3. Aberrance

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    I was depressed and had a lot of self hatred that I didn't understand. Transitioning almost lifted away the cloud that had been hanging over me for 7 odd years and I could actually start to enjoy being me. Felt a hell of a lot less anxious and more confident in myself. The first part of my transition I'd consider being cutting my hair which was one of the most liberating things I've ever felt but other than that it wasn't really a leap of faith but a gradual progression of things that needed to happen.
     
  4. DarkWhite

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    Like the previous posters I was very depressed. I didn't like myself and couldn't imagine I'd have to live like that. I couldn't see any future I would want. That caused me completely giving up on my life. I just lived for the sake of others. After accepting being trans, well I have a hope for my own future now. And that's a good start of improvement I suppose.
     
  5. looking for me

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    well not fully out yet. but I've known I was a girl since I was 6 years old, I grew up in a very gendered world and knew that would be to much to deal with that it was so unacceptable and that (at such a young age) I was the only one in the world like me, I was a freak. so I played the boy, then the man, but it was a very elaborate sham. since starting HRT I've felt so happy, so free, so Me. most that ive told have been supportive, and im going full time in 49 days. but to the point yes I am much happier, more than I even hoped to be.
     
  6. LittleMouse

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    Also still not fully out. Yet.

    I just always was a bit unhappy, even when life was pretty good. I had little confidence and absolutely hated myself and my body.
    I knew I was different but didn’t specifically know I was trans as a kid.
    I’m in the process of coming out just now and whilst it is terrifying it is also very freeing. When I’m in situations where I can be myself I have a confidence I just never had before. I would also totally agree with Aberrance that ‘the haircut’ was an extremely defining moment. It made photos and looking in the mirror so much easier.
     
    #6 LittleMouse, Mar 12, 2018
    Last edited: Mar 12, 2018
  7. BradThePug

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    I realized that there was no way that I would be able to continue living as female. I did not see myself growing up to be an old woman. So, I decided that I needed to transition in order to save my life.
     
  8. SomeUsername

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    I actually wasn't able to accept how unhappy I was until I accepted that I didn't believe in God. My Catholic upbringing and anxiety issues combined to create a really unhealthy mental state where I couldn't even consciously acknowledge my passive suicidality or gender dysphoria. I'd always had lingering doubts about my religion and a feeling of emptiness that I was in denial about, but it took me a while to stop repressing that. Obviously it was hard to face exactly how much pain I was in, but I think it was worth it since I have a chance to make myself genuinely happy now.
     
  9. Cailan

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    I was mostly happy, but whenever I was really feeling like I was looking totally pretty and put together as a woman (skirt, heels, pretty blouse, hair, etc) I felt like a fraud, and I kept waiting for someone to call me out as a fake. As a teen I couldn't figure out why I didn't *also* have a penis, and I can't tell you how many times in my life I've said I just wanted to cut my boobs off and be done with them. I couldn't figure out *why* I felt this way, because I'm AFAB and have always loved being a woman. I just kept feeling I wasn't the woman I was "pretending" to be.

    When my MtF husband (still going by masc pronouns at this time) announced he was ready to transition I was tossed into the transgender world, trying to figure out what was going on, I was upset and confused because the words people were using sounded an awful lot like what I was feeling, but it didn't make sense because I didn't want to give up being a woman, I love being a woman. Finally I stumbled on the world of non-binary, specifically the definition of bi-gender, and it all became clear. Ever since I learned to embrace the masc side of me and transitioning to a male body, (while still preferring to be a woman socially/astetically) I've been happy, and no longer feel like a fraud when dressed femme.