Small Victories

I asked my drama teacher if I could go by Matthew in his class I feel bad asking people to make such a change but he doesn’t seem to mind. This is the first time I’m openly going by my chosen name

 

we had our respectful work place seminar this morning, when the presenter got to the part about people transitioning or being Transgender, I glanced around and saw several faces who closed down and got 'tight' these people may be a problem but now I know who some of them are.

 

This was a few days ago but still, the guy I'm dating said I was handsome and that made me really happy.

 

My crush pretended to cut my hair off xD

 

So, the friend I mentioned last time I posted here has been so good about using my chosen name when others aren't around, and honestly it just makes me so happy to not have to lie to another new friend. I may not have meant to tell her, but I'm so glad I did.

 

so yesterday I attended a meeting because our local Pride board blew up. so we're trying to save Pride with a new board. but the victory is that I didn't know most of the people there and I stood up (I was male presenting) and said my name is Sarah, I am Trans, she and her pronouns etc. scary as heck but sooo liberating considering that im going full time in 49 days.

 

This may not be much, but I joined a few support groups on Facebook over the past couple weeks. Also finally heard back from my councelor and have a session set for the 30th! Feels good to be back on a more positive trajectory

 

ok a couple small ones. had a great session with my gender therapist yesterday, making progress on confidence and self image. then had a break through with my speech pathologist on getting my voice 'right' and then a fantastic meeting with my Pflag group, I made a formal request to become a facilitator

 

Not really an intended victory, but it sure felt like one cause i had my trans pride necklace on and was wearing my binder openly at work at the time. More of a repost hoping for comments or likes than anything else.

So i had a totally random and unexpected moment of gender euphoria at work. Well, it was after work and i was going grocery shopping (at work, i work at a grocery store) and i was going to get some chips and queso. There were a lot of employees in one particular aisle putting the stuff that came in on the truck up on the shelves. One of them, idk his name but he's always been friendly, calls out a greeting saying hey how you doin man and holds out his hand and at first i thought it was to one of the guys behind me. But as i turned to get something off the shelf he faced me, hand still stuck out, and was all like hey don't i get a handshake and it was only then that i realized oh he meant me. Cause nobody ever means me. So i shook his hand and he asked how it was goin up front and i responded, feeling more at ease, but didn't stick around cause i was shopping on the clock. I wanted to get groceries and then clock out cause the supervisor let me off too early to clock out yet.

I couldn't decide how genuine he was being at the time, like did he notice the trans flag necklace and me wearing a binder and do it as like mocking but i mean my mom's a bitch, i feel like i'm good at spotting fakeness. He came off genuine, even if more friendly than i expected for someone i only see when he's on break coming through to get snack food - i'm a cashier there. He greets everyone though. I just wanted to tell you guys to get opinions, and talk about it cause it felt awesome. Being referred to as a guy and greeted like a guy.

 

Today I bought a sports bra that looks like a binder! Yay! It doesn’t flatten or anything, but from the front it looks like one. This isn’t too important, but when I tried it on it made me a bit happier

 

My father made fun of me calling me something translatable as "young mister". It was a mockery, but an euforia-inducing mockery. xD
I'm happy with little...

 

My T dose was raised today, and also I now pass almost 100% !

 

I was wearing one of my tightest turtlenecks (and I own no binder) because it was the only clean thing left, and used chosen name and pronouns in public like: "yes I'm a guy with breast. I don't care. Deal with it." xD
(Less dysphoria than this winter allowed it)

 

not trans related but i'm taking steps to see about attending University when I get a transfer to the city. part time while I work.

 

I made my hair appointment!! Its at 9am tomorrow. Getting this long hair chopped off, its gonna be short. Problem is idk if i will look okay with short hair...we'll see. But i've wanted to just tie my hair in a low ponytail and cut if off with scissors for so long. And all i ever do is tie it up and out of the way, its never down. I hate it down. So hopefully I'll like it! Cause i go to work right afterwards lol.

 

went with my friend to sephoria,she wanted a make over, and the artist doing it also does drag. they looked at me, have we met? i smiled yes but in alter egos..... i was the girl in the black and white dress at the show at queer prom..... their eyes got wide, wow you were rocking that, you looked Hot..... oh wow blew my mind, ill be going back for my make over when i come out full time.