Since my father's awful and judging phone call last week my Mum has rung. She seems to be trying hard not to judge me too harshly and to keep the lines of communication open. Typically for my Mum, though, when I mentioned that I had told my Dad about feeling suicidal at the start of last year and not able to say it, she said "Well, haven't we all?" I also had to listen to her sing the praises of my husband - who I am in the process of separating from. Though she now appears to acknowledge that the marriage is over, she doesn't appear to acknowledge my new relationship. She says "You will find your place in this world. I am too old for all this." And "Have you thought about counselling?" Ironically I did the counselling when I was in the throws of my identity crisis and unrequited love....about a year ago. I am hoping that I have been able to convey something to her, reiterating that I am still seeing someone but that I am not signing anything over to her. I also said several times how hurt I was by my Dad's call and how I felt that he did not see me at all...
Hey @Peterpangirl That’s crummy. I’m sorry you have to deal with this. Have you ever seen this video by Dan Savage? I think his take on this is very interesting. See what you think.
Hi there. I read your last post about your dad's disappointing phone call. I'm sorry that your folks aren't very accepting. My suggestion while you and your mother are working to continue communicating is to keep it simple and don't expect anything from them. In a way they are telling you that they can't handle it. It sounds like your dad went and made it about him which is a bummer. Hopefully with some time they'll realize it isn't the end of the world and be more accepting. Dropping more bombs on them, like that you were suicidal last year, while important to you and your life, may just reinforce their misperceptions right now. In the meantime enjoy your life and your partner. When the subject of your relationship comes up keep your comments brief and close-ended. (No need for your approval and your judgement isn't welcome but thanks anyway dad!)
