So when I was in NYC for job interviews I went on dating apps and matched with a bunch of ladies. One of them has been insistently texting me, cause I made the mistake of giving her my number. She keeps texting me "are you ignoring me" "you are so cute" "I wanna see you" "I wanna bite your lip" plus a lot more explicit stuff. And honestly? First, I'm not super interested in her and second, I haven't had sex with a woman and I don't think I'm ready for this kind of interaction. Plus, I haven't moved yet and right now my focus is on my present life, not on girls 2k miles away. She also keeps trying to video call me. Any advice?
You could message her to say that you are out of State. You could tell her not to call you. You could ignore her calls. You could mute or block her number. On most mobile phones you can mute or block numbers. On some phones you might need to get a free app with extra muting and blocking features. Or you can change your SIM card / number as a total resort.
There probably isn't a super nice way out. Even being honest and sincere will probably be experienced by her as rejection.. So, perhaps something like, "I'm not ready for sex chat at the moment. And I'm out of State for a while anyway. Can I message you when I'm back in NYC?"?
Hey I would either ignore her until she gets the message or if you can't do that, which I'm not sure I could I would say hey I'm flattered that you think those things about me but that isn't what I'm looking for at the moment and leave it at that.
You could just message her and just say that you’re not ignoring her but you’re not In the state anymore and you’ve been busy. then just start dwindling down or just simply ignoring the messages. Don’t worry too much about being horrible or hurting her feelings, I’m not saying that to be nasty but her messages are making you uncomfortable and your feelings should come first over hers. Remember that You don’t even know this woman and so don’t owe her anything either. I honestly wouldn’t worry too much...ghost away lol
This is someone with no boundaries who probably won't get subtle or polite. I think I'd send one text saying "I'm sorry, but I don't feel like it's a fit. I'd appreciate it if you'd stop contacting me." That's polite but firm and reasonable. If she continues after that, then just block her.
I like the approach suggested by @silverhalo because I think it's to the point but also very polite. That's definitely how I would handle things, by saying something like "thanks, I'm flattered, but not ready for that right now" etc. However, let me also say that I agree with the comment made by @Chip in that I think this person doesn't seem to have appropriate boundaries. Maybe she's used to only hooking up or something. I don't know, but I wouldn't get with someone who quickly jumps to sexual talk. I'm not trying to judge because perhaps some people want to only have hookups. I've never been one of those people but that doesn't mean it's not right for someone else. I haven't done online dating but I've heard from many friends that lots of people online only want sex. So, it's important to be on the same page. You can politely let her know you're not interested, but if she doesn't respect that and keeps sending you unwanted texts, then block her. I hope that helps. ❤️
Great advice here. Things like this will keep popping up as you try to create relationships with other people. The best way to handle it is to always communicate honestly, respectfully, and intentionally. Anything else will just hurt you and other people you are involved with.
This sounds more like texting than sexting to me! I would just say that you don't think it will work out, mention the distance and other issues etc. Then stop replying.
I agree with the advice here, especially Chip's. I would also say that this is the reason you don't give your phone number to people you meet on apps until you know you can trust them. Communicating over apps is just as easy, but far easier to block someone.
lol well one of the messages said "I really wanna go down on you right now" so id say that's pretty sexty. Thank you all for the advice! She hasn't texted me again but when she does, I'll be blunt
I hate to say this is why I don’t do online dating: the girls (and guys) I met or talked to were generally looking for hookups or getting over a breakup. Not always, but usually. Most were clingy or were rebounding in a bad way. This often led to bad boundaries or strange behavior. I’m gonna echo the above sentiments and add that being firm is the best way to go. If you’re feeling uncomfortable, you shouldn’t have to put up with their behavior. Be straight forward and firm, if she doesn’t get it, then block her.
