This is my first time on any site like this. I am 37. Married for almost 14 years to a man. I've realized the past couple years I am very attracted to women. I have never been with a woman but I think of myself as bisexual. Only my husband and best friend know. I'm looking for other people to talk to in similar situations. I do not want to leave my husband or have an open marriage. I'm looking for other solutions to feel more fulfilled and happy. If anybody has been or is in this situation feel free to let me know what has or hasn't worked for you and your spouse.
Hi, and welcome. The situation you're in isn't an easy one for anyone, but I commend you for facing it and working through it. The challenge is going to be finding a fulfilling situation without changing the current situation; I think over time you will probably come to terms with the idea that if you aren't happy, something is going to have to change. It might also be helpful to realize that when we confront some significant loss (in this case, loss of perception of self as straight), there are stages we go through: denial-anger-bargaining-grief-acceptance. They aren't always sequential, and can take from hours to months or longer to process. But part of the process of thinking about what happens with your current relationship may be tied up in those stages of loss (which both of you are most likely experiencing.) You'll probably get more responses if you post in one of the forums more specific to discussion. I can move this thread for you if you like, or you can start a new one yourself.
I realize things are going to change. I just hope we can find a way to change that both of us are happy with. He’s very open to creating a new normal. We watched the movie Kinsey together today and had a long discussion afterwards. We are both very scared. But I’m also kind of excited and happy to be living more open even if it’s just with my husband.
I am currently married and your situation sounds similar to mine. Though, I am currently on a journey to find if I am a bisexual or if I'm a lesbian. I was with women before my marriage to a man, but due to a very rough reaction from my family - I pushed my feelings for women deep down. I let myself be convinced that it was a phase and I was controlled by fear. So, the situation is also slightly different. Have you started thinking about what sorts of solutions would bring you more fulfillment? When you envision being happy in your head - what does it look like? I hope all is well with you.
Hey welcome to EC. As the others have said it's a difficult situation but you are definitely not alone in it. Here on EC there are lots of people who are or have been in your situation all at different stages of their journey I am sure talking to them will help.
I was sexually abused as a child. I think this caused me to be closed off to all sexual experiences before I married my husband. I'm not sure what my ideal situation looks like. I do not want to hurt my husband or children. I also cannot imagine never being with a woman. I want to find a woman I can be friends with and be sexual with I think. But I'm very unsure how to go about it or if I even want to really open that door.
Thank you. Talking and a place to get advice and be “around” people like me is what I was looking for.
