I only ship lesbian couples

Don't worry that's quite common.

When you see a guy or girl that catches your attention how do you feel if you imagine holding their hand or cuddling?

 

That's ok you don't have to be able to describe it. I'm not sure how I would describe it, maybe like warm and fuzzy inside, maybe just that I was drawn to someone even though I don't know how or why.

 

I can't tell you what you are but to me it definitely sounds like you are attracted to girls, you are just still working on accepting that and discovering what it means for you.

 

That's ok anytime, you can always post threads or write on my wall if you want to talk.

Why do you say it's a shitty situation right now?

 

Yeah I completely get that. Truly there is no good time, but your last year of school wouldn't be my pick. I think you have probably figured out more than you realise, it's just society always pushes the heteronormative against us and so it can be a bit of a battle to begin with.
I'm not saying you should tell your friends but what makes you say you can't?
As for the crush, could you say you don't have one right now?

 

No I totally get that you don't want to lie. I think that's one of the worst things about having discovered your sexuality but not being out. When you are oblivious and thinking you are straight it's easier to answer their questions. Even if you don't feel much for any of the guys, you just answer honestly with the one you like the most but once you start questioning you become much more sensitive to all of this and you are in this kind of limbo where you feel like you can't move forward or go back. At least that's how it felt for me.

Did you feel ashamed because you couldn't go through with telling her?

 

Oh ok so you thought she might of worked it out. Being attracted to girls isn't something you should be ashamed of, but it get it. Don't worry if you are not ready to tell anyone then there is no pressure, you will know when the time is right.

 

Well being alone can be tough, for me chatting to lots of people on EC helped me feel less alone. It isn't a replacement for real life people to talk to but until that's a possibility it's the best substitute there is. People here are generally really friendly.
There is always a chance you might be attracted to guys but right now from what you have written it sounds like I'd say more just leaning towards girls.

 

No worries, try not to stress about it too much, even though it seems really bad, it will be ok