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Why is she suddenly ignoring me?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by lovewine, Feb 18, 2018.

  1. lovewine

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    I met this bartender girl in a bar. I told her im bi and she said that she's bicurious, so I got her number and sent her a message a week after we met. She said she's been wondering when i'll be back from my beach trip and that I "made her night" the night we met. She seemed really excited to message. We've been texting really long messages (3-5 long messages at a time!), mostly asking and answering each other's questions--stuff we like to do, what we're doing, plans for the day, complimenting each other, etc. She would even send photos and vids of her dog. In passing, she mentioned that she has a bf, which I didn't know about so I apologised for texting. She laughed and said that her bf's okay with her being with other girls and knows that she's curious about girls. She also said he's aware we're texting. When I found out though, my messages became less flirty and more friendly. I even tried ending the convo since she was on a trip with the bf, but she said I wasn't disturbing at all and that she enjoyed talking to me. The next day, I didn't message her anymore since I felt guilty, but she messaged me first. And again, I tried ending the convo towards the end of the day but she asked what my plans were for the night so the convo continued again. I'm very attracted to her, so it's hard to just stop replying. :astonished:

    I told her i'll come by to the bar on the weekend where she works since it's just a few steps away from where I live. She was so excited! She sat beside me (super closely) and continued our conversations from our messaging. Her piecing eyes intimidated me a bit (I tried not to show it though haha), her eye contact's quite intense. Not sure if that's an aries thing.. On my side, I was a bit touchy (Im very touchy with everyone when Im talking if im comfy and even more if im attracted to someone). Anyway, we've been talking and I'd try to include everyone in the conversation instead of just talking to her, but I sensed she preferred a one on one conversation. However, I can't stop thinking about the fact that she has a bf so I'd try to make it a group convo. After a while, she had to go to the bar since the place was starting to pack up. She'd check up on me from time to time, asked me questions and stuff, but most of the time I was speaking with my friend. After a while, we got hungry so we left and said we'll come back. We had an awkward goodbye haha. We of course came back, and she followed us to the side of the bar we went to and was again looking excited to see us saying "aww you came back!" We had one last beer, chatted with her some more and then we left.

    She hasn't read the last message I sent before meeting up with her that night it was just a see you later and unimportant comments. But she's deliberately not opening it, cause I can see her online at times. I didn't message her again anymore too. I feel she's ignoring me on purpose, not sure why. Any reason for this? I know it shouldn't matter since she's attached, but I like her, and Im ok with just being friends with her since we have a lot of weird stuff in common. Haha Plus, she did say they (her and bf) are okay with her being with another girl. Complicated, but I just want to understand what happened..
     
  2. DinoArtist

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    Did she just start ignoring your texts or has she stopped responding for a while, like days? Maybe she got into it with her bf, nothing's certain with relationships. Or she read your body language at the bar or doesn't want to come across as clingy.
     
  3. lovewine

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    She stopped texting (she used to initiate conversation) on Saturday, then I sent her a message yesterday just saying that ill see her around next weekend. She didn't reply.. Haha Today, Monday, she liked some of my photos from social media, but still haven't replied to my message. Haha. I'm crushed..

    Hope she didn't get in trouble though.. She did tell me her bf's okay with this whole thing..
     
    #3 lovewine, Feb 19, 2018
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2018
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  4. DinoArtist

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    You'd never know really. Sometimes it just doesn't make sense.
     
    lovewine likes this.
  5. EnderGiven

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    Try sending her one more message. Just one, and act like your just starting the conversation like you did before you found out about the bf. Best of luck.
     
  6. lovewine

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    I've decided to just forget about it, because I feel it's quite disrespectful to the boyfriend to push it. I'm thinking the bf might have asked her to stop communicating with me, but that's just a theory. Cause she was really friendly and all even before I left, so it's weird that she's suddenly like this. Can't blame the bf.. Who wants to lose their girl?
     
  7. beenthrdonetht

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    I did that a few times (backed off to avoid being a home wrecker) and had to endure some ridicule. "Nobody does that!" "If you win, it's his loss." "To f--- people you have to f--- over people." But no, you don't have to be an asshole to make your way in life. However, I would say that I should have made my interest more known to those already-taken people. Because when they break up, you don't feel some sort of "disturbance in the Force." You won't know... but they'll remember you.
     
    #7 beenthrdonetht, Feb 22, 2018
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2018
  8. Anthemic

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    I think she could sense you trying to end things; and maybe she’s ignoring you to see if you’ll put in a bit of effort to contact her again. Because honestly, if someone acted that way with me, I’d assume they aren’t interested. She stated that her boyfriend is ok with it. I think the issue here is that you aren’t ok with it. You aren’t disrespecting her boyfriend if he’s stated that he’s ok with it.

    I don’t think you’ll forget about this because you already put in the effort to make a post about it. She may want a poly relationship.