I'm exhausted, people expect me to talk throughout the day, but I just feel drained and I'm fed up of talking. A part of me just feels like retreating inside myself, I want to escape reality for a bit but I don't know how long for. Unfortunately, the people in my life see my withdrawal as a cry for help, so they try and talk to me to comfort me, but that just makes it worse. I've been stressed lately and I don't why, my friend keeps asking me why to try and help, which ironically just make me feel more stressed, because then I feel pressured into identifying the original cause of the stress which I can't seem to do since I can't find the words to accurately describe, due to the fact I don't know why I'm feeling so on edge as of late. I feel physically tired, yet also often jittery and it's conflicting. The tiredness makes me want to withdraw from conversation, sometimes sleep, but also it can make me feel like going hyper when I'm alone. How can I say "I'm not in the mood to talk right now" without seeming rude? But then if I do, they might ask "Why aren't you in the mood to talk?" and at that point I can't find the words to explain and I just AAAAAAAA! Ugh.
Has it crossed your mind that you might be depressed? Sometimes it's hard to identify the precise cause of depression, but many of the things you are describing here would seem to point in that direction. Would you be able to speak to your GP about it and see if you can get an accurate diagnosis (you may find it easier to talk to your GP, who is not emotionally involved in your life). How does it feel to type out your feelings here? It's it easier than talking about it?
Sorry for the late reply. I don't think that I'm depressed, but I don't know what I am really. There are days where I feel confident, as if I could do anything. It's odd, because those days make me realise how sad the other days are in comparison, when I'm actually experiencing my sad days they don't feel all that sad, but then when I have a happy day it makes me realise how sad it actually was. ...Yeah I'm probably not making a great deal of sense right now.
Could it be that people are just not bringing up the subjects you are interested in? There are certain subjects I don't join in with or open up about. For example, I haven't done a lot of traveling, so when people start chatting about countries they've visited and cities they've stayed in, I've got nothing to contribute to that sort of conversation, so I'll stay quiet. If people start talking about relationship issues, I haven't had experience with long term relationships, so I can't help with that. And I'm sick of hearing people prattle on about failed relationships any way, it depresses me. Oh boo hoo, so some guy let you down and you were expecting him to fulfill all your needs. Can't you figure out how to make yourself happy without hoping some guy will cure you of your misery? Fuck off. When I'm socializing, I just like to geek out and talk about video games and music and TV shows and movies. They might not sound like deep and meaningful issues, but they have meaning to me. Those are interests that I spend time pursuing in my spare time when I'm not at work. That's what makes me happy. Not listening to people's misery over failed relationships. If you're gonna talk about that while I'm out trying to relax and have a drink, then I might as well drink alone or go home and play video games.
Hello @Canterpiece: Something else to consider: Have you seen a physician? There are a number of medical conditions that can create these symptoms: thyroid problems, anemia, blood sugar problems, mononucleosis, etc. Most of these can be diagnosed very simply with a blood test. Hugs.
I'm going to have to agree with Patrick regarding depression. As someone who has experienced in several different forms, I can confidently say that what you are describing sounds quite a bit like one of the disease's many forms. Depression isn't always intense sadness and crying. It can be experienced through other things, such as lack of emotion, anger, mania, and resemblance of the symptoms of bipolar disorder, just to name a few. Stress is one of the many factors in causing depression, and that sounds like a main problem in your life. Also what you are describing is quite similar to what I have been experiencing in the past few months, and from both the perspective of a psychology student and someone who has experienced almost every type of depression under the sun throughout a good portion of my life, I'd say depression in some form is the best thing to blame.
Well, if it means anything then my therapist thinks I'm fine. In fact, we ended our sessions together today, as she decided that I had made plenty of progress, and had enough coping skills to deal on my own. Still, feels a bit odd to end the sessions, I knew it would happen eventually, but I guess it almost feels like I've lost a friend. But that's just a part of life, and besides this is good, right? It means that I've been doing well lately, and she's right in that I do have ways to cope.
I am back to feeling bad again. Guess that's what happens when you stay up at 1AM, you start having some not so pleasant thoughts. The brain is a hard thing to please, even when you are doing well it's hard not to compare yourself to others. Sometimes I feel like the failure of the family, but I know these are just passing 1AM thoughts. It's silly really, back when I was younger my sister and I took this logic test given by a school examiner, and one of us did better than than the other, my parents argue over which one of us it was because they can't remember. A little voice inside my head says "I bet I was the one who did worse, after all, would a logical person care about some test that happened in the last decade? Why do I still think about it, why care?". It taunts me how everyone praises my cousin for doing so well, and a selfish part of me wishes that he wasn't, because it's hard seeing him succeed at things that I struggled with at his age, it make me feel like an idiot. "Why did it take me so long to master basic skills, when he makes it look all so easy?" *Sigh* I know comparing myself to others won't solve anything, but it's so hard not to do and once you start doing it, well, it's hard to break the cycle.
