hi everyone, I’ve been having trouble recently panicking over HIV and STIs even when I have sex that is safe. I recently got tested for HIV after 5 months and checked several times before then obsessively at times to the point of panic attacks. I don’t have the virus and I’m fine and was mostly worrying for no reason. Now I went and hooked up with a guy but we only made-out jerked each other off and I came on his chest and he didn’t cum. We didn’t even do oral. And yet I’m still feeling some of those same panicky feelings like I have HIV or some other STI? Why am I doing this? Do I have reason to fear or am I just being silly? Spiffy
A healthy worry about getting sick will help you make all the right decisions to avoid HIV or other STD's. I would say that you may want to find a therapist to discuss these fears, as they seem to be affecting you more than normal. Continue using condoms and WATER based lube so they dont break. Consider getting on PREP to help reduce your risks, and fears that are stopping you from enjoying sex. You're doing great with protecting yourself. The unfortunate truth is that sex exposes you to diseases. Condoms or not. You can choose to be in fear and not enjoy it, or understand how to minimize those risks and have some fun and intimacy. And know that it's good to worry about protection. Just don't let it dictate your sex life, and stop you from relaxing. As long as you are protecting yourself and testing regularly, you should be fine! Good luck
Hello, It is good that you are protecting yourself, and that's already a huge step. However, if you are worrying to the point of having fear of sex, and this is affecting your sexual life, then things start to become complicated. As long as you are taking care of protecting yourself (condoms, water-based lube, avoid doing oral/anal when open wounds are present in you or your partner), and testing for STIs every once in a while (some people test once or twice per year) then you should be fine and safe enough not to lose your sleep over it. In the activity you described in the fourth paragraph of your post, i can't see any possibility of you being infected (unless open wounds were present/he had visible warts - which doesn't seem to be the case by what you are describing). An HIV infection, especially, cannot be transmitted by the activity you are describing. Repeating myself, it seems you are protecting yourself, so don't worry about it. If you are having a hard time controlling these feelings, then it may be worth talking to a therapist.
I would probably suggest seeing a therapist so they can give your some coping mechanisms for when you get anxiety. Yes, STIs should be treated seriously, but its not something to be scared off. The beauty is that if you use protection you will literally have almost nothing to worry about. AND even if lets pretend you do get an STI, it will take one single pill to make it all go away. That's it. So keep using condoms, but also know that you are going to be fine. Definitely talk to someone though
