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How to go about getting that first date

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Pizza Pie, Feb 12, 2018.

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  1. Pizza Pie

    Pizza Pie
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    Alright, I’m tested, I’m curious, I’m ready to go, I even know what outfit I want to get.

    So how should I approach looking for my first date with another guy? Everyone I’ve ever dated before has been A) a girl, and B) someone I already knew socially.

    If you’ve used dating apps, what’s the best one? Or should I go out somewhere and try to meet somebody? Also, tips on your first same sex date would be awesome.

    Thanks for your time everyone
     
    #1 Pizza Pie, Feb 12, 2018
  2. Gravity

    Gravity
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    Just a heads up, but we can't actually name specific dating apps or sites here. :slight_smile: So do keep that in mind.

    That said, my first suggestion, as terrible advice as I generally think it is, is to relax a bit and not take it so seriously. Dating isn't a formula where X + Y + Z = significant other. It is very literally just a chance to get to know someone. Sure, people might go into it with varying expectations, but one person's perfect date could be the next person's nightmare date, and vice versa.

    Some general thoughts in that vein -

    If you're using a dating app or website, just be honest. Any attempt to hide what you're looking for or comfortable with will inevitably come back to haunt you when you do meet up with someone and they have a less-than-accurate impression of you because of something you said, or didn't say, online.

    If you're looking to meet someone in person, volunteering at a local LGBT organization or attending local LGBT social events is a great way to meet other LGBT folks - and the more LGBT friends you have, the more likely someone will know someone you might work well with.

    Also, when meeting someone from online for the first time, make sure to do so in a public place, and tell someone where you're going, what your timeline is, when you can check in, etc. If you feel comfortable, great, but if you have doubts or concerns, don't ignore them.

    Finally, same sex dates are not necessarily all that different (though there's the obvious social pressures, depending on context), but one thing to try (and this is totally a personal suggestion - might not work for everyone): don't buy a new outfit for a first date. If you do, you are already investing a lot of time and money that the other person might not be, and you may come off as overly eager for something to evolve out of that first date. Actually, I suggest wearing at least one article of clothing that you've had on all day - so you don't feel like you're being super formal with a full new outfit.

    Hope that helps!
     
    #2 Gravity, Feb 12, 2018
  3. Pizza Pie

    Pizza Pie
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    That last suggestion is particularly good advice for me - I feel like I do tend to fall into that trap where I get too emotionally invested before it even gets out of the gate (I have given a girl a mix cd on a first date before). And buying new clothes is like turning it into a literal investment. Plus I am the type to be pretty uncomfortable being overly formal

    Maybe instead of a new outfit I’ll buy the Destiny 2 season pass with that next check :video_game:

    But anyway, I really appreciate all the advice, you the real MVP Gravity
     
    #3 Pizza Pie, Feb 12, 2018
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2018
  4. Pizza Pie

    Pizza Pie
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    I kind of regret quoting that meme at the end there, but what are you gonna do. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But memes aside I truly do appreciate it.
     
    #4 Pizza Pie, Feb 12, 2018
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