How has coming out affected your self-esteem as an lgbt person?

Hello everyone. Here's a question I thought it would be interesting to see the answers to.

How would you describe the effects of coming out to your psyche? Did it make you feel better about who you are? Did it leave you the same? Did it make you feel worse?

For me it has initially a bad experience. I came out to my mother and godmother as bisexual at first a few because that's who I thought I was. Their denial, anger, suspicion and fear however made me doubt myself and put me back into the closet. After a few years however, I came out to my mother as a lesbian and I'd say things are getting better. She's more willing to listen even though she's now convinced I'm just bi. At least she's not into denial of me being into women even though she still insists I'll marry a man some day. I guess we can't have it all can we?

So what has your experience been like?

 

For me it was more like an event of affirming what everyone already knew.
When I began coming out to others the reaction was generally "Yeah, we know. Wondered if you were ever gonna out and out say it."

 

Everything got better after I started coming out. I'm much more confident about who I am now and don't care as much as I used to what people think of me for being a lesbian. Coming out is hard, but I definitely don't regret doing it.

 

I am only out to my best friend and his wife. It has given me the freedom to speak about my previous boyfriend which for years I was unable to do so mentally I feel much better.

 

@JaimeGaye Good for you, I mean it sounds like a smooth process.

@pennylane1988 That sounds great! That's such an inspiring thing to hear!

@mask1985 Must be a relief.

 

It's actually really helped my confidence, self-esteem, anxiety and depressive feelings. Multiple people have told me I've changed a lot since coming out.

I'm really dreading yet looking forward to coming out to my parents and moving out because I think of it as the last major step of growth (related to being gay).

 

Hope all goes well for you!

 

It actually helped me feel better about myself and my identity. Over the years I have gotten a lot more confident in my queer identity and coming out really contributed to that.

 

Hi !
I realized I'm bi a couple years ago, and the first person I came out to is my boyfriend. It made me feel so good really, it was like finding out who I really was and sharing "the true me" with him, felt amazing. I felt relieved, he's been perfect. Even though I've been questioning for a long time, I never really shared that with him. Then I came out to my friends, and again it went perfectly ! I don't really know how to come out to my family though, maybe it'll come one day, maybe not. I'll see
I'm glad to be able to share that, thanks EC

 

Awesome! You're lucky to be surrounded by supportive people!

 

I think that coming out to myself definitely helped. I'd always been sure something was wrong with me, until I grew up and realized that something wasn't wrong, I just liked girls. I saw anti-LGBT things growing up which must've made that sense of fear in my younger self.
Coming out to friends was hard for like a day, as I just didn't know how to interact after that, but it quickly got better. That really made me hapy because now I'm with a girl

Family has actually made my self-esteem a challenge. It's hard to exist with people when you know they still hope you'll turn out straight, but I know that that's just something I'll learn to deal with. Overall, it helped me though.

 

its so nice and encouraging to see that all the people in this thread made good experiences with their coming outs
even if its not always easy...

but I experienced the same, it just made me more whole. I'm more myself, more open and free. Less concerned about what people might think and also just more in peace with myself and my sexuality, as this is really a huge part of my personality. But to be honest, the biggest impact for me was the coming out to myself. To admit (or to see) that I am not straight just opened a whole new dimension in me.

 

Coming out has made me feel like I'm finally being honest. Even though I had been tentatively telling people I was bi, saying that I was a lesbian and finally feeling like what I was saying was true and right made all the difference in the world. Admittedly, everyone's response was 'yeah, no shit' (my mum said she had known since I was 8 years old) but figuring it out myself meant that I felt proud.

I think it's amazing to see people saying that coming out was good for them, in their hearts. Even if some people in our lives don't react well, it means something that coming out can still have such a positive impact on the person who matters the most: yourself.