I hate this feeling. I ID as a transmale, though I feel like I don't have the same desires and wants as other transmen do regarding their transition. I know I shouldn't compare myself to others, but at the same time how many transpeople out there DON'T opt to medically transition? I feel like due to that I'm not "trans enough", and I don't fit in with other transguys (people). I have been looking at some forms of T (like gel), but at the same time, I don't know if I want to be on it for the rest of my life. The things is I can already pass as male most of the time, and the only reason why I might want it is so I won't look like a 16 year old boy for the rest of my life. However, Ryan Cassata isn't on T either since he doesn't want to lose his singing voice. I know these kinds of trans people exist (like Ryan), but there's so few of them I find and it makes me question myself and if I am in fact trans. I've been questioning on and off for 5-6 years now. I've been to a therapist a couple years ago, but I still wasn't 100% sure of myself at the time and after the first session they were going to make an appointment with an endo to start T, which is what I thought I wanted, but ended up cancelling the appointment a few days later. I have so many stories and thoughts from when I was a kid that I might be trans, and I don't think cis kids have thoughts like that which also makes me believe I might be trans, but again I feel like my wants don't correspond to the majority of what other trans people want and it just makes me question the shit out of myself.
I've been thinking, the reason people transition (take hormones and surgery) is to be for comfortable in their body and to be gendered correctly. Most people already see me as male to begin with, I have a lower than average voice (for being afab), and a fairly androgynous body type. I was looking at ways to make my chest flatter without surgery and one thing was exercise and working out your chest, which I am going to make my goal. I just think we need more...diversity...in a sense that not everyone needs to medically transition to be seen as their 'true' gender, and if we had more people who didn't want to medically transition, I think it wouldn't have taken me so long to accept this.
I bet that they are many but are less visible. There's a narrative that privileges those who fit in it. Things are changing. Even in my country - Italy! Old-minded, catholic Italy - a sentence allowed a minor-age transgirl to change her documents without surgery, in spite of the existing protocol.
Hi Me too. I feel like a dude and I don't feel like taking hormones, but I fail at the social transition part a bit too. I don't really know what I am to be honest, and I don't think it matters. There are a couple of people like that on this site... and in other places too.
first of all; there's no right or wrong way to be trans and no one can say you're not trans enough, there is no minimum standard. i know several guys, who happen to be trans who dont want to medically transition for a variety of reasons, changes to voice being one. thing is, for me a lot of changes can be reversed, with T they are permanent like changes to voice, once it drops it takes a lot to bring it back up. i am doing speech therapy to bring my voice to a female range and cadence. in the end you do you and the hell with what others think. also, looking 16 isnt a bad thing, i wish i looked younger.
I definitely agree with you @Hawk that we need to talk more about the diversity in transitioning as a community. There's the assumption that if you come out as trans that there are processes in place that you have to go through to be recognized as the gender you identify with. And there is the assumption that a trans person has to follow these predetermined steps in order to be happy with themselves. We are expected to want certain things. I go back and forth with wanting top surgery. Mainly because my chest is pretty small to begin with.
For me, I most certainly want to transition medically (hormones, top surgery, etc.) However, I am also a DI collegiate athlete. I can't do that right now b/c of NCAA guidelines. So I'm currently settling for social transition, but I don't really have a great plan
Hi, I feel the “not trans* enough” feeling often. Part of it for me though is probably that I’m non-binary so I feel less about myself often because it because I’m not binary. I have tried my best to be male or female but I just can’t. There isn’t a right or wrong way to be trans*. No one says you have to medically transition to be trans*. Medical transition is an option to help trans* people who aren’t as lucky in life to look like how they feel inside; to relief dysphoria. If you feel fine about yourself without medically transitioning then it’s good for you. I am unsure if I want to medically transition. I need to say the pros and cons in. I want some features to make me more androgynous though. You are valid, no matter if you medically transition or not.
As others have said, there is no right way to be trans. I think Ryan Cassata is a great example of this. Not everyone has to go on hormones or get surgery. Nor should they be expected to. At the end of the day it is your body and your transition. I think there is a lot of similar pressure for transguys to get bottom surgery for example. This is something I've wrestled with a lot. I know that I wanted T, and I am pursuing top surgery. But bottom surgery is another question, yet there's a lot of pressure to have it in order to be perceived as "male enough." Take your time and don't be afraid to against the current of what society expects. You are right that there should be more diversity. Maybe you can be a part of that diversity should you choose not to pursue medical transition, yeah?
