Can gay and straight men be true friends?

Definitely it is possible! My two best friends are straight dudes, we've known each other since we were kids and we always have something to talk about and something in common (except for my sexuality).

 

Maybe... If you are feminine I think it's then easier to make female friends since it's probable that you have more things in common with them, but even then I think it's definitely possible to make a straight male best friend. Everyone has different personality and not every straight dude listens to metal music and likes watching football. And who knows, sometimes great friendships are created even between two people who may seem totally different...

 

It's definitely possible. I would even say it logically makes more sense that way. Neither of them would have to worry about their friend competing with them for the attention of girls/guys when they are out somewhere like a bar or club. I've seen quite a few straight friendships get destroyed by both people being interested in the same girl, or someone being interested in their friend's sister/cousin etc. and that wouldn't be a problem with a gay/straight friendship.

 

That's also why I wrote "may seem" and not "are".
People have many different areas of interest. Neither life or friendships are only about sport and music. And even if the person has different interests in these categories, you may find a common ground in something different, sometimes even without expecting it.

Maybe for example you like reading mangas and watching anime, I don't know. And now this guy that seems to be so interested in football and rock music may also really like anime. But you'll never know if you keep avoiding him just because you are not interested in his "obvious" hobbies. But if you find out, then suddenly you have a common hobby and a common topic to talk about. Maybe he'll be even your first friend who shares this hobby with you...

And it's all about respect. If you respect someone's different point of view and that person respects yours, then friendships are always possible.

I personally I see some difference between friends as a good thing.

One of my friends has a totally different political view than me. We argued a bit at first, but in the end we both got to see and respect the other's perspective, and nowadays we are just making jokes of that.
Another friend of mine (straight dude, my best friend) has a totally different musical taste. He's more into country and calm music, and cannot stand listening to metal or rock (my two favorite genres). Also he's all about technical stuff and loves maths and physics (I hated these 2 subjects at school). And even then we are best friends. How? Well, we have another thing in common, passion for travelling. But not just that, plenty of other small things as well, and we found that we have them in common just because we talked about them. We can even discuss these things we have not in common, just so we can learn more about the other one's point of view.

 

This is about as silly as the question about women and men being friends without banging.

You can be friends with anyone. I am friends with straight guys and gay guys and we don't all share the exact same list of things we like. That is just ridiculous. I am even friends with women and we don't have everything in common. I mean one of them likes chevys and that is just absurd.

 

This is just my experience, but I normally feel more comfortable with straight men than gay men. Gay men (not all, but a lot of them) seem a lot more superficial and judgemental to me. I often feel like gay men are expecting me to speak a certain way, act a certain way, dress a certain way, have sex a certain way. And if I don't meet up to their standards, then I'm not being a proper gay man. Straight men don't make me feel that way. My straight male friends just accept my sexuality as part of me and don't define me by it. Straight men don't put any pressure on me. With gay men I've always felt like there's been peer pressure.

It might also be related to the fact that my dad and brother, both straight men, handled my coming out very well. A lot of gay men seem to have an easier time coming out to the women in their family, but in my case, the men handled it better.

 

Yeah it isn't that hard.
I am friends with many gay and bi men and it doesn't bother me.

 

Of course! Sexuality doesn't have to matter with friendships.

 

I think you should pursue friendships wherever you want. Gay guys can definitely have straight male friends, but that doesn't mean you have to. I have straight male friends but the fact of the matter is that my strongest, most long lasting friendships are with other gay men. When the chips have really been down and I've really needed people on the whole it has been other gay men who have stepped up and been there for me. Frankly I have always found that I experience a sort of instant kinship with other gay men. Even when we travel we always end up falling in with a few other gay guys for the week or whatever. It's just easy and sort of automatic for us. Could that happen with a group of straight guys? Sure, but it hasn't...

 

I can't be friends with gay men. That doesn't include people on this site but when I tried to be friends with them I feel like they're very judgmental and it's like you have to think an act a certain way. With straight men I can just tell them I'm gay and that's that. So yeah I prefer being friends with straight men over gay men.

 

This! Well said.

 

I don't see why not as long as everyone is open and understanding. Even if there are unreciprocated romanitc emotions, as long as they're well controlled, I think it can be possible but certainly more difficult. In the romanitc emotions case, I think both persons need to want the friendship to continue.

In fact, one of my best friends (dare I say best friend?) is a straight man whom I quite fancy. That hasn't always been easy, and at times it's still not, but we worked thorugh it. He understands how I feel and that I still want to be friends. I understand how he feels and he also wants to remain friends. We've sat down and had some serious talks about this. He quite hopes that I will find someone who can reciprocate those feelings with me, and has been very supportive every step of the way through my battle with depression (from different cause, but often manifests itself in these feelings for him) and these emotions.

We are still open in our romantic endevours, and I support him in his relationships. In fact, I'm pretty much his sole souce of romantic advice which is funny given I haven't been in a relationship before. We are very open with one another, and I think that is the key to making these things work. If either party allows sexuality to be a barrier, then of course it's not going to work. Any healthy relationship relies on open, trusted communication.

EDIT:
Also, I want to add, that he might not always understand exactly how I feel or why I feel that way, but he is still supportive regardless. It's not really a hitch in our friendship as this is just a common thing in any relationship. Everyone's life experiences are different; not everyone will understand everything about you, so it's ridiculous to expect exerything to be received perfectly. I don't always understand him either, and it's a similar reaction on my part.

 

Definitely. Maybe less with gay men who are "fierce", but plenty who are into things like sports, cars, etc. have a good chance. I have a feeling that many men on the downlow have more of an image to protect, since they're "one of the guys"

 

You don't even have to be a sports fan to get along with straight men. Not all straight men are into sports, and many who are into sports are still capable of discussing subjects besides sports.

Most straight men I get along with like chatting about geeky stuff like comics and video games and movies and TV shows. I hardly meet any gay men who I can geek out with.