opinions/feedback on being pan and poly?

Well, as to pan, I can't say. I identify as bi, leaning towards the ladies, although I've never really encountered anyone outside the gender binary IRL, so I don't really think I can say for sure. I don't think it would be too hard to accept if it turns out I am pan, since I've already gone through accepting that I'm trans and bi.

As for poly, I have no problem with others having polyamorous relationships. I'm still working out how I would feel being in one myself, though. I personally have never felt attracted to more than one person at a time, though my best friend/crush is currently in an open relationship with her boyfriend and has admitted that she likes me too and on top of that she is one of the few that know my secret...it's complicated to say the least.

Sorry, that was probably incredibly unhelpful/pointless

 

I had so many revelations about myself lately that haven't really gotten to the stage of questioning if I am pan-sexual... but your post made me think and I feel the same as you, I don't care what is between person's legs as long we can enjoy each other's company, but I've never met any other genders other than male/female, or claiming to be those so I can't really tell... I've never fantasied about being with other genders either although I would love to meet another genderfluid irl one day. I'm also a bit fuzzy on the terms, would relations with a genderfluid person qualify as being pan-sexual?

I guess I am poly - this revelation and putting a name on it still feels very news and a bit awkward =) I feel like I cannot be satisfied by a relationship with a man alone and I need a relationship with a woman as well. in the perfect world all three of us would grow old together, tending to our garden and very many pets =)))

 

Gay here, but yes to everything else.

Allowing myself to fully explore polyamory has been such a beautiful yet confusion revelation. It made my life make SO much more sense. It made big problems become small and it just sort of fit well. Don't get me wrong, learning how to do poly well is one of the hardest things ever since you have to unlearn and unpack so much baggage, but man its so worth it.

To no surprise to anyone, the poly community is also incredibly open to trans people, and its a great place to explore your identity fully without judgement.

So, congrats! Keep at it, you are completely normal, and you will also be fine!!

 

I, too, can't relate to being pan or trans. But, I can relate to being able to have attractions, maybe even love, for men and women at the same time.

I am married for 30 plus years to a woman and I have an ongoing relationship with a man who is over thirty years younger than me. The dynamics of both relationships are completely different yet there are common elements. In both cases, I am friends first. In both cases there is lust.

But, there is a difference in how I express my love for wife and my boyfriend. I'm not sure I can really describe it. But, each fills a spot in my soul. I haven't been with the guy for that long. So, I will see if this becomes an enduring sort of love or if it fades away after the infatuation and excitement. But, I can definitely see that I have the capacity to love more than one person at a time.

I share a fantasy with Shpinaltso. That I could live happily ever after with a man and a woman. The three of us do some things together now and while it feels a little awkward sometimes...I do not show physical affection to one in front of the other...it doesn't feel wrong.

 

To me, pan is just another word for bi or queer. This is sort of controversial because some say bi is *only* liking biologically male and female peoples. But it also means more than one gender, which can account for identifying as queer or pan. If pansexual fits the way someone feels, then that’s what they identify with and it’s cool. I could fit in any of these three cats, but I like to identify as queer. It’s whatever you’re comfortable/happy with.

I can’t relate to polyamory, perhaps a little too possessive (lol), but I know people who are and are very happy, don’t have a problem meeting people.

 

I don't think in terms of those labels, but I am bi, and have my gay moments, my hetero moments and with my partner's permission, have poly moments, I suppose. I like the idea of pan, and find myself attracted to at least one of the trans people I know, but I realize that this can mean much more. I'm going to shut up here and listen, so that I may learn!