Hey y'all. This has started making me pretty anxious so I'm gonna get it off my chest here if that's cool. I'm afab and nonbinary, but also trans masc I guess. I'm also not out to my dad. I bought a new shirt today from the men's section and I was showing it to my dad when I got home. When I mentioned that it's a "men's" shirt he started making jokes about how people will think I'm a crossdresser, "As long as you don't draw on a mustache and smoke a pipe", and other stuff. It was in a joking way but with negative vibes if that makes sense? However, just as I left, he said to my granny "I hope shes a woman, and stays a woman, and is happy being a woman, but if she's not then that's fair enough." (or something along those lines, I can't remember the exact words.) I dunno what to make of this because he's always so hostile towards the lgbt community, though it's mostly gay people his hatred is directed towards (I'm also gay... go figure, haha) and he normally doesn't say much about trans people. He does make fun of trans women at times though. But then he goes and says this, or that one time he said "Sometimes nature just gets it wrong" when he read about a trans man. It all contradicts each other and I don't know what to do. If it isn't safe for me to come out then I won't but I want to change my name and go on T and stuff but I can't do that without him knowing as I live with him.
Sounds like he'd be fine with you coming out from what I can see. My dad also seemed transphobic and used to take the piss out of trans people before my coming out. Yet he acknowledged and has now accepted me. It's easy for people to act and say whatever they want about people that have nothing to do with them but as soon as someone they love and care about is one of those people you'll find that (in most cases) things will change and they'll start to come around. Doesn't sound like you're unsafe with him but thats my opinion from those few paragraphs. Your parents can *hope* you're a lot of things but it's rare you turn out the exact way they want you to. Him saying "if shes not then fair enough" essentially sounds like he's accepting you or the idea of you being trans.
Yeah that's what it sounds like to me too. It might be a little rough for a while but it seems like he's open to it.
Honestly, I might be wrong but it sounds to me like he'd be supportive if you came out. It sounds like he's saying that he just wants you to be happy ("if she's not then that's fair enough"). He's hoping that you'll "stay a woman" because he knows you as his daughter and that's the way it's always been so if you come out, it will presumably take some time for him to come around completely. But I think he'll love you no matter what. No parent would (hopefully) ever wish gender dysphoria on their child...he's probably also worried about the surgeries and other obstacles you'll face, especially since I doubt he will have much knowledge on FTM or non-binary transitionin.
Thanks for the responses, everyone. I hope you're right and he does end up being supportive when I eventually come out.
