I think I am a lesbian

I can relate to the happiness you describe. When I said out loud, "I'm gay", I felt so free, and honest. You may be onto something here. Good luck!

 

@womaninamber I understand that feeling. I went from I think I might be bisexual to knowing that I am a lesbian. I also have no experience being with a woman, however that doesn’t change the feelings and attractions I have for them. You will grow more confident as you have a willingness to accept yourself for who you are.

 

When I finally (finally!) came out to myself at 53, I felt as if I had gained a new set of eyes...everything was the same, but the way I saw everything was completely different! The feeling is one of a heavy burden suddenly lifted.

We humans can, unfortunately, get used to anything, and the longer we have stayed with and compensated for that burden of denial (by defensiveness, or sullenness) the more we got used to it, until it was suddenly gone...it feels a bit like vertigo, one is off-balance...suddenly there is colour where once all was grey...It is impossible to describe this precisely, but most of us who are out can attest to this sudden feeling quite vividly!

 

I don't think it sounds strange, finding and accepting or being able to be honest about your truth is an amazing experience and feeling. Enjoy it and embrace it, maybe it's here to stay.

As for why you waited, this is a question many of us ask ourselves, even if it happens before we are 50 but I think we just figure it out when the time is right for us, so now is obviously your time.

 

Yeah, good question -- why did I wait? For me it's kind of like cleaning house. About a year and a half ago I went to a meditation group, and toward the end of the meditations I would cry, in a healing way. At some point I had the profound realization that I didn't have to wait for everyone around me to be happy before I could be happy. Then it's been a process of letting go of old patterns and habits. Now I'm ready to declare who and what I am. It's kind of like I've taken out the garbage, vacuumed the floors and washed the dishes, now I can put some paintings on the wall and a vase of fresh flowers on the coffee table.

 

A good weird, though, right?

 

Womaninamber, if you're more positive toward yourself, that's golden! Keep it up! !

 

I think is a wonderful revelation, and based off some of your other posts, hopefully a good one.

I can relate to it being a good weird, too.

 

I think maybe you are coming into your truth!

Last night I told my boyfriend of 4 years that I think I might be gay. He knows I've identified as bisexual for at least a decade, but this is certainly a turn from that. Of course, he was upset. I felt... fine? I have fleeting moments of hey, yeah, maybe that's it?

Still trying to figure it out, of course, but reading stories like yours makes me feel less alone.

 

Oh, it's the best feeling - knowing!!! Just yesterday I was in exactly the same place - almost ran out into the kitchen full of my flatmates and yelled out "I'm bisexual" =)

 

Like other have said, I was amazed how good it felt to just say 'I am gay'... I am still struggling with denial and acceptance, but simply saying those words I felt so warm, excited happy... and many members here, much further along than you or I, report experiencing this.

I am about your age, and don't know why either - but there are a lot of us here! .

 

What should we call this...Post-Admittance Bliss? I can totally relate, even in my late 20s. It's very similar to how greatwhale describes it: fresh eyes. I felt like Dorothy waking up in a Poppy Field filled with bright colors. It was zero to sixty. A lot of us late-in-lifers describe a moment like this in realization.

You may go back and forth pretty soon. I came out almost 4 years ago, and I still have moments where I'm like, "maybe I'm not..."
I was recently going back and forth and literally 10 minutes ago, saw a really beautiful woman and was like, "well that answers that."

It's normal to grapple. Sexuality is a strange thing to quantify and place. What's helped me is to just be comfortable with how I feel in a moment and let that be my truth.

 

Hi womaninamber
It is a really good feeling just saying to yourself that you are gay but telling other people seems to lift a big burden that you have been carrying for a long time which then makes you feel a lot happeir in yourself . And as for later in life I think it' because it is more acceptable now I never admitted to myself that I was gay till I was 50 and know I feel good telling people

 

I remember that feeling so clearly, saying out loud (although there was no one around to hear) "I'm gay!", and the elation I felt. I think the good feeling was because I moved from inner conflict to inner peace. No matter why, really, I just felt great!

 

I tried it again this morning while riding my bicycle. I said it out loud several times, "I'm gay!". I felt good, but I also felt something else. Then I said, "I'm gay,and I'm scared". I really like most of my life, and I'm scared that telling the truth to everyone else is going to mess it up. I think that elation I felt before is on the other side of some clean-up I need to do. Having felt it before, I want to feel it again. It's hugely motivating!

 

I say it every day still at the moment that I'm gay as I have said I have told a mate and my be a couple of people I don' know personall but that is it no family all that is so hard and scary to