Hey guys, I haven't posted here before but I don't know who else to turn to. I am ftm and also a teenager. I have been on T nearly two months and have been out almost two years. While I am happy to be on T now, I can't shake the worst of my dysphoria, which is about not being a cis guy. I have brothers and constantly have to stop myself from being unneccesarily irritated or rude towards them simply because they have all that I want. I am not able to get top surgery, as my financial situation just does not allow for that, and i also have crippling bottom dysphoria. Every day I think what if I was a cis male and I seriously believe I will drive myself crazy soon with the what ifs. Being trans can seriously suck. If anyone has any suggestions on how to accept that I will never be a cis guy and help me move past that, I would very much appreciate it
If you spend most of your time angry at the life you don't have, you can't appreciate the good things that are in your life.
Hi @anonftm I feel you. Congrats with being on T. Cis-envy is a super normal thing, but its certainly not healthy. In my experience, when I find myself surrounded by cis guys in my family that are around my age I feel a similar sort of jealousy that you do. Its hard to shake off. One thing you can do is try not to compare your body to others. Especially cis male bodies. Remember that your body is beautiful, even if its not perfect. Nobody's is. A cis male body isn't the ideal, although sometimes it feels that way. Also try to find things about your body, especially with your changing hormones that you do appreciate and love. Make a list of things you love about yourself and your body. Practice self love and acceptance and all that. This really helped me last year. Maybe it will help you. Lastly remember that you are just as male and any other "cis" man out there. (This personally helps my dysphoria a lot.) Your body is male because you ARE male. Remind yourself that your body is male because you identify as a man, simple as that. Even if certain aspects of your physical form seem otherwise. Im sure there are other things too but that is what comes to mind right now. Waiting for transition/surgeries isn't easy. Hope this helps.
