So the main issue is one guy in my friendship group who likes to pick on people as a joke and although it’s rude, he generally knows not to take it too far. However, he started doing that to me over a year ago, as much as anyone else and I would laugh but i would say if it was too much and he would stop without a problem. But, over the past few months he’s carried on, targeting me more specifically and saying malicious things that I’ve told him upset me. I’ve mentioned to my other friends that this is very upsetting to me and is having negative consequences on my emotions as well as making me feel very unhappy and insecure at school. They’ve told me ‘that’s just his personality’ and that I should just accept it. But he obviously won’t stop! It’s got to the point where I’m trying to avoid him (thus avoiding all my friends) to stay away from his nasty comments. He specifically makes a point of saying things as loudly as he can to draw as much negative attention to me as possible, which mortifies me. I don’t know if it should upset me this much but it just hurts horribly and not only do I feel hurt by him, I feel betrayed by the friends who are supposed to stick up for me. What should I do? Am I being too sensitive? And how should I deal with this in a peaceful, nice way?
In high school, I had a very similar "friend". Your situation sounds very similar to the one I was in. Brushing it off as "his personality" and all that. Long story short we aren't friends anymore. Our friend group is still close but we don't include him. He is just too toxic. There's one thing you can do, just ignore him. I made the mistake of thinking that we were actually still "friends". If you ignore if, treat him like he doesn't exist, then you'll make it clear that you don't care what he says about you.
Thank you!! This is what I’m trying to do so I’m glad that this seems like a reasonable step to someone who has been through it!!
You are right to feel hurt, terrified and unsupported. Your post keywords I picked up on are "Targeting" "Malicious" "Loudly as possible" and "Just the way he is". This kid is a bully and having 'friends' who not only accept but actually enable his continued behaviour tells me they either accept you as his chosen primary victim to ease the burden he may pose on them or they actually accept you as his primary chosen victim because it gives them just as much pleasure to see you suffer as it does the actual bully. You don't deserve this form of torture from ANYONE young lady. Contact your parents, your school administrator and/or school counselor and should they fail to assist you in ending this terror go directly to The Administration of Education. Bullying students by ANYONE is not to be tolerated and you or anyone else does not deserve to be the willing victim.
Thank you so much for your response and I really appreciate your concern but unfortunately I’m not really in the position to do these things as 1. I’m terrified he will put me, and my sexuality is something I really want to keep private for now and also I’m very close to my exams and as including quite stressed at the moment, I don’t really want to have to bring family and school into the mix for extra meetings etc. I really appreciate your suggestions and without my context they are perfect outcomes! But unfortunately I think i need something more ‘discreet’
Then all I might offer is best luck with your exams and godspeed getting past this time in your life.
Thank you so much for your responses and advice! A few weeks has done wonders and I’ve finally sorted things with him out! Everyone has been very supportive and your advice has been so helpful!
Disclaimer; Quickly browsed other comments. With reference to "should just accept it." Bull shit. Ask the person to stop. If it does not, put the friendship on the back burner. (low priority) In my opinion this person has a problem. He seeks attention. Why? This person also wants to control. They lack mindfulness. This alone signals they have a serious situation.
