Feeling embarrassingly inexperienced for my age

I was 29 when I first slept with someone. Before that, I've never been sexually active with either gender, but I was in a relationship with a woman that was complicated (no sex before marriage rule).

For some people, unfortunately, lack of experience will be a deal breaker. However, for others it won't be. It's just about finding the right person who understands that everyone has their firsts and people come out at different stages in their life. Focus on finding the people who don't make a big deal out of it, and don't dwell on those who do.

 

I was 29 when I first slept with someone. Before that, I've never been sexually active with either gender, but I was in a relationship with a woman that was complicated (no sex before marriage rule).

For some people, unfortunately, lack of experience will be a deal breaker. However, for others it won't be. It's just about finding the right person who understands that everyone has their firsts and people come out at different stages in their life. Focus on finding the people who don't make a big deal out of it, and don't dwell on those who do.

 

Well, don’t feel so bad. I’ve got you beat.... I’m 35 and still (technically) a virgin. I have had some guys give me oral, but it wasn’t an “ideal” situation - it was more forced on me. I’ve dated one woman (I’m a guy), and was interested in another, but I still see guys before I see women. I’m ready for a relationship, but not actively because of my family wouldn’t accept it. I’ve got a friend that I’d like to fool around with, but not a relationship. But I doubt that will happen.

 

I had only kissed before losing my virginity at age 31. I think at 24 you're doing just fine

 

Hey I was exactly like you only 26 and minus the 2 random boy kisses. I know it can weigh heavy on your mind but anybody who really likes you won't care about your experience or lack of it and anyone that does doesn't deserve you and isn't worth your time.
Try not to think to far in advance and take it one step at a time.

 

Oh man, I so get that! My situation is very similar to yours - same age and came out "late".
And yeah, people definitely have certain expectations. I'm bi so people just assume that I've had all the sex lol. On a more serious note, I totally get the insecurity, I feel like that too! I've dated someone in the past who said hurtful things about my inexperience when we broke up and I've had a "friend" tell me I'd die a virgin. So there are definitely people out there who will virgin-shame you but they're not worth your time!
I really, really hope there are some nice people out there who don't care. I feel like there are more people in this situation than one would assume. I certainly don't mention this to people in casual conversation.

 

i am 23 been sorting out my sexuality for two years, i do not have expierience either, i currently am not able to be in a relationship, because i live in a very non accepting household

 

but yeah i worry about when i can be in a relationship that i won't know what to do

 

Well I am older than you and not that much more experienced than you, it took me sometime to deal with my sexual identify. I'm still working on it but I think I'm close to being ready for a relationship. I have zero sexual experience with men and I honestly just lost my virginity to a woman a year or so ago and I'm in my 30s. It is what it is, you just have to get out there and live life. Could you mess up and make a fool of yourself, maybe, but that's life you live and you learn. Hope that helps and Good luck!

 

Be YOURSELF, Be HONEST with your partner. TELL THEM you are inexperienced in sex. If they are really attracted to YOU as a person and not just an item of sexual objectification they will be more than willing to teach and guide you through every step of being in a satisfying relationship.
Truth is that most people are just as inexperienced in sex and relationship as you are and you have no valid reason to be concerned about being new to the game of love.
Don't be fearful of rejection. If they don't want you because you are inexperienced, they didn't really want you in the first place.

 

I just turned 20 never been kissed, never been touched...

 

Don't stress it's more common than you think.

 

Deeeefenently not where I live I'm like a nun here everyone had multiple partners already and teenage pregnancy is a real common thing within my race.

But I'm actually grateful I did not mess my life up in that way, although I messed it up anyway, it's not that I feel left out it's more I'm reeeeeeeally lonely and family/ friend even spiritual relationships won't cut it this time unfortunately:/.

Could just be my messed up hormones though anyway...thanks for you comment...

 

Well I think when you find the right person they are going to think it's extra special that you are as you are

 

Aaah wow thanks I hope I do find this brave person one day coz the Lord Himself knows that person will have to reeeeeeeally love me to put up with me...

 

They don't need to be brave, I'm sure you have lots of great qualities to offer them.

 

Actually I disagree even if I have great qualities to offer I can be a VERY emotionally draining person (because of my upbringing) which can put a huuuge toll on relationships I'm speaking from friendship family relationship experience since I don't have romantic experience...

 

Do you want to talk about it?
I think you just have to find the right person. We all have issues and negative qualities I just think when you find the right person for you they love you inspire and because of those too. Everyone is different and likes different things and finds different things hard to deal with. You just got to find the right person.

 

I know but I feel like this right person is either one in a mil or doesn't exist. I reeeally really feel I'm a HARD person to be in a relationship with and frankly I would hate myself for putting someone through that:/ so I don't feel I deserve anyone...