Hey everyone. So just a few minutes ago I was sitting down watching a TV show with my family and it showed two guys being affectionate and then they kissed. I've come to terms that I like women and I've fully accepted it in my heart, I've told my twin sister but not my parents. I want to wait until a good moment. My parents have been really stressed out financially and I want to wait until they're not so strained mentally so it can go better. The problem is I also don't want to lie to them directly about it. But when the guys kissed in the show my dad made a deal out of "not wanting to see that" and "just cause the show got a lot of views from it they're overdoing the whole gay thing now" and how it "made him uncomfortable". I stealthily avoided eye-contact and nodded and I'm sure at this point my sister was twisting inside out for me. Then a few minutes later my mom says to my sister and I "it's like when you two see girls kissing, doesn't it make you uncomfortable?" and at that point I was about to crawl out of my skin cause you know what, no, it doesn't. My parents are not 'homophobic' but we have a very very close relationship and I'm afraid they'll see me differently when I tell them. It also makes me sad to think that if I get a girlfriend it will make them uncomfortable if we show even the slightest affection for each other. I guess I'm scared because I don't think I'm ready to come out, but I've accepted it so much in my own head that I'm not exactly ready to lie about it anymore either. I'm terrified that they'll say something like "you would tell us if you were gay, right?" (they've said that before) and I'll just freeze, and then they'll know. They would be finding out in the wrong way. Does anyone have any personal experience or some thoughts on this? Any chatting would be appreciated. Thanks.
I think there's a big difference between seeing something on TV that you weren't prepared for, about people you don't know, and sitting down to have a conversation with someone in your family. Your parents wouldn't be the first ones to change their minds - or at least adjust their perspective - when they find out their own child is also LGBT. So, while I completely understand why this would make you nervous or uncomfortable to hear, I would also encourage you not to take it as a 100%, final statement on their views of all things LGBT related.
Thank you very much, I needed to hear this. The whole thing just kind of came as a shock, but it was all very innocent on their behalf. They haven't been exposed to the gay community and they have no reason to assume I'm gay, since I've been in pretty deep denial until now. You are correct, I believe my parents would be okay with the news and would support me no matter what. It made me uncomfortable but I realize they just didn't think to word their sentences more carefully, they didn't intend to imply anything negative. I think I will tell them, when the moment is right, and we can move forward from there. Thanks for your help.
Update: I came out to my parents and it went really really well. My mom was kind of in shock but was still supportive, and my dad and I ended up having a really great, long chat about it. Guess I didn't really have much to worry about. Thanks Gravity for helping me out
That's really great, congratulations! I'm glad that you got such an understanding response! Feel free to keep in touch if anything else ever comes up.
Thank you so much, I think I will. The same goes for you, if you ever need to chat about anything. Wishing you a peaceful day
