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Asking someone out, what should I do?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by ShiftyExtreme, Jan 19, 2018.

?

Which plan?

  1. PLAN A

    11 vote(s)
    84.6%
  2. PLAN B

    1 vote(s)
    7.7%
  3. PLAN C

    1 vote(s)
    7.7%
  4. PLAN D

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  5. PLAN E

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  6. PLAN F

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  7. PLAN G

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  8. (Other)

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  1. ShiftyExtreme

    Regular Member

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    I have this crush, he is 99.99% gay, everyone I know, knows. He even said it himself.

    So confirmed gay: Yes.

    Ever since then I've hung out with him to scout him personality wise. He is so sweet, has a smile that could pierce lead and is so funny. He is a bit scrawny, could put some weight on and eat a bit more. But other than that he is perfect.

    I've been scouting him for 2 weeks now and having some pretty cool conversations with him. I'm not sure how to start things with him. Or if he might already know I like him?

    When I try to talk to him sometimes I get cold feet and freeze.

    My main concern is that he may not like my looks or dislike my personality :frowning2:

    So I've come up with some devious plans

    PLAN A: Hey wanna go out for some coffee or see a movie sometime?

    PLAN B: Hey I wanted to tell you that I really really really like you, like in a crush kinda way.

    PLAN C: Continue to give him subtle hints, rubbing him in the back sometimes, looking him in the eye and hope he catches on

    PLAN D: Tell all of his friends I like him and hopes one of them spills the beans

    PLAN E: Wait until he asks me out

    PLAN F: Hey there dude, Im just gonna tell you right now that I am a total homo and you are also a total homo and I hope your getting what im throwing here.

    PLAN G: Compliment him a hundred times and ask him to go out with me

    THose are my current plans, if you can come up with others, please tell me.
    Otherwise, tell me which one you like the most and why.
    Im so nervous >w<
     
    #1 ShiftyExtreme, Jan 19, 2018
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2018
  2. Gravity

    Full Member

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    Out to everyone
    First off, the fact that you're dissecting him into static categories of which you approve (smile) or don't approve (for example, weight) is a bit awkward - do you actually like him as a person? Do you enjoy spending time with him? Do you find him attractive (not just physically, but also in the sense of his personality, how he presents himself, and so on)? All of which are, fundamentally, the same question asked different ways.

    If you want to pursue a relationship with this person, then ask him out - you know him better than anyone here, so suggest doing something that you think both you and he would enjoy.

    If you're nervous about asking him out, one other thing - have you come out to him yet? If not, do so, provided you're comfortable with that.
     
  3. ShiftyExtreme

    Regular Member

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    Yes, yes and yes.
    (Im putting him in static categories because I have ASD and its easier for me to make judgments based on that)

    I know at least 7 gay guys, he's the only one I really really like.
    The others are edgy, want to harm themselves, talk about rappers like lil peep (who thinks their music is any good anyways?? its trash!) and talk about taking drugs and vaping and have this way of talking that makes me feel uncomfortable, some of them grab my ass for no reason and give me weird looks.

    but the guy I like is just a pure kid and I want him to know I like him too, Im just hoping he likes me back :frowning2: I just enjoy being around him, he has this positive aura.

    I'm not exactly sure what something both of us can enjoy is but I'll try to find one.

    And coming out to him? He's gay too so it would be awkward, like I'm gonna hit on him or something, which I totally am, but its weird.
     
  4. dopplershift94

    Regular Member

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    Plan A. Keep it short and simple; takes the pressure off you and them! :slight_smile:
     
  5. mask1985

    Regular Member

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    Plan A is best
    although
    Plan B worked for my boyfriend when he told me.
     
  6. illbehere

    Full Member

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    Although I don't have much experience, I think that plan A would be best.
    It's direct and shows that you know what you want. The worst that happens is you get rejected.
     
  7. ShiftyExtreme

    Regular Member

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    Well asked him out and then ran away and a couple hours later and he put it directly.
    in a DM in instagram...

    he said:
    Hey (SHIFTY) I know you have a crush on me, but I dont feel the same. (This is where my heart was torn to pieces)
    I would appreciate it if you stop following me and (CRUSHES FRIEND) around all day, you're sorta annoying (Yeah, but only cuz I was scouting u :<) Im sorry that I dont feel the same about you (SHIFTY) you are an amazing person and has seemingly good intentions. Also your like totally hawt.

    (names were censored)
    (I also added that last part in)

    So, thats how it ended >_<
    Just found this other guy though, he seems less reluctant, the second day I was friends with him he said "I love you tom" Not entirely sure if its like a friend kind of love or a romantic type but I put my arm around his neck to see his reaction. He didnt seem fazed. Not entirely sure if hes gay, havent asked him yet but he wore a "We are all humans" shirt with a rainbow flag on it once and went to a protest to remove a transphobic trustee from our schoolboard, so I have some hopes.

    Ill keep you guys posted.
     
  8. mask1985

    Regular Member

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    At least you tried and have an answer. Good luck with your new friend :slight_smile: