Physical safety question about sex with a much smaller person

It's pretty embarrassing posting about this...

I've been able to be pretty sexual with a male friend I care about a lot lately, but due to a possibly unfounded fear of accidentally harming him I've made sure he is always the one in the dominant/top part of whatever we did. But... now he wants to try things the other way around, and although I definitely want him to be happy and want to pleasure him that way, I'm pretty concerned it could physically hurt him.

The thing is, he is a rather small and fragile person due to some childhood health issues, although it doesn't look as significant to anyone who doesn't know him as well as I do. He only weighs about 100 pounds with a small body frame, and I'm more than double his weight plus built like a linebacker.

Even something as simple as just laying on him the wrong way makes me concerned it might fracture a bone or make it hard for him to breathe. Then of course, small body means small ass too so I don't know if he would be able to handle that type of activity without pain.

I know he would not tell me if he were feeling uncomfortable during it, he would just deal with it and pretend everything is fine, which gives me no way to avoid injuring him if something goes wrong.

Is it safe to do this with him?

Am I just overly concerned about this?

I know it would be best to ask an actual doctor, but that can't happen in this case as he isn't comfortable discussing this part of his life with anyone other than me yet.

 

It's an odd pride thing for him. He is just like that with everything, someone could probably stab him and he would just sit there quietly trying to be "tough" about it and deal with it himself without seeking help. Which is why I'm overly cautious about things like this post... if I can't notice his discomfort, he will never say anything about it. I'm hoping I can eventually get him to stop using that mentality and realize it doesn't make him weak to tell someone when he is uncomfortable or in pain....but we aren't quite there yet...

He doesn't have any disease affecting bones though, he is just less durable than an average person is all. It seems like everything will be ok, and I was just being too cautious about it. Thanks for the help, I appreciate it.

 

Thanks for the replies guys, I appreciate it.

There is definitely the inexperience thing going on, it will be his first time being on the receiving side of it (and my first time on the giving side), and I'd really hate for him to associate that with unpleasantness and end up afraid of doing it ever again. It's great to know the physical harm stuff won't be a concern, and of course everything would be gentle.

I fully agree that his mentality and consent stuff is important, I've just had a difficult time approaching that topic with him. When I tried he got defensive over it and I didn't want to force it on him if he wasn't ready to talk. Due to the being a small person thing he tries to act masculine to compensate for it, and it seems like he sees that discussion as an attack against his "manliness" or whatever.

This is a fantastic idea, and I will definitely try this. He has gone through a lot in a pretty short time-frame... between realizing how we feel about each other, him realizing his bisexuality, and then coping with that conflicting with his religious beliefs all in just a few weeks... I wanted to make sure I didn't push him too fast and cause him to feel overloaded with everything or think I'm trying to change who he is.

He knows I love him unconditionally, but I just wish he felt safe enough to talk to me about things that are bothering him without me having to prod it out of him. I don't know what else I can possibly do to show him it's ok to share his feelings with me and that nothing bad is going to happen because of it. It's not like I'm going to ridicule him for it, yet he seems to think he has to keep everything to himself all the time.