Coming out to a really good friend!?

I wouldn't say anything until you are 100% sure because there is really no taking it back once its out there! Although your friend has a girlfriend this may not necessarily mean he is 100% straight. My first boyfriend and I both had girlfriends before we met each other but we knew what we felt for each other pretty soon. Staying friends with someone you fancy is tricky though - I would suggest trying to find out a bit more about what he thinks of you romantically, if anything, but if there is really no interest there you would be better off finding someone else who is really into you and that is bound to happen at some point.

 

I really think you should to hold back awhile and sort out your feelings before you say anything to your friend. There appears to be two things you want to share with him: (1) That you are gay, and (2) that you are falling in love with him. It sounds like a wonderful relationship and you want it to continue which is understandable.

I think you need to ask yourself some hard questions about what you hope to get out of teĺling him and how it will affect your friendship.

If you are certain you are gay, I can see why you would want to be open with him since it could deepen and strengthen your friendship. It would be a no-brainer to tell him, assuming he is open and tolerant to LGBT people. You wouldn't' have to remain in the closet around him. I am concerned about your comment in your second post where you appear to be struggling with your sexuality ("what if I don't know if I'm gay?"). It can be difficult to label yourself if you are still struggling with your sexual orientation and you may be giving him information that is not necessarily correct. You may be bi or questioning. If that is the case, I would hold off on coming out as gay, since you appear to be struggling with your feelings.

If the goal is to let him know that you have feelings for him, then there is some risk of losing the friendship. The fact that he has had a girlfriend for over a year is a huge barrier, unless you believe he's been living in denial during that time. If you tell him how you feel about him, what is the outcome that you are hoping to get from it? That he will leave his girlfriend to have relationship with you? Is it just unbearable living in the closet around him while having such deep feelings for him? Has he given you any reason to believe that he may be gay or that he is unhappy with his girlfriend? It may be possible that he is not a hundred percent straight, but regardless, it is important to remember that he is still in a relationship and that there is another person involved.

I was thinking how this would play out if it was a heterosexual relationship with opposite sexes. If a guy were to tell his female best friend about his feelings for her, it would likely cause considerable tension since she may not have similar feelings and it may be perceived as a threat to her relationship with her boyfriend. If he is happy in his relationship with her, then you have to ask yourself if it is healthy for you to maintain this friendship while living with all these unrequited feelings.

I guess I have more questions and concerns than answers, however, I do think you need to take some time to thoroughly think this through before telling him anything.