I’m not quite sure where I should start. I want to say that this is all new to me but I’ve known for a long time that I liked women but have always pushed the feelings away. Now I’m 38 and have been married to my husband for almost 2 years and I have become increasingly unhappy. I don’t want to hide who I am anymore but really just don’t know where to begin.
Hi @Nellie1979, Welcome to EC. Joining EC is a great start! There are quite a few people on here who are/have been in a similar situation. There's no rush and no right way to do this. Is your husband aware that you're unhappy?
chuckle, You've come to the right place to talk to people in a similar situations. Also, congrats on taking that first step to figure out what you need to be happy and posting on here. The first steps are always the hardest.
Hey welcome to EC. As the others have said this is a great place. Talking to people here can really help you figure out how to move forward.
My husband isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed but I think he knows that I’m not happy. I’ve slowly been pushing him away and I know that it’s not fair to him.
HI Nellis1979! If you're not happy, you can change, you gotta change! You have many years and opportunities ahead of you, and it's not right to waste them. Whatever "change" means is for you to decide, My wish for you is to have happiness in your life.
It might help if you try to separate your relationship and your sexuality. Do you feel that your unhappiness stems from your relationship in general, or would being out reduce your feelings of unhappiness? I'm assuming that your husband is unaware of your sexuality.
What @LostInDaydreams said, really understanding what's making you unhappy is the first thing. If you can find the core of what makes you unhappy address that first. Other than that understanding your sexuality will help you navigate things.
HI Nellie and welcome. You are not alone - there are many of us who are going through similar situations. When I started, I was not prepared for the range of emotions and uncertainty. It helped me to find support, read similar stories, and take time before making big decisions.
I am in a similar situation, as are many others here. Have you tried going for therapy at all? Or to speak with someone at any local lgbt centers? I have found that doing those things has helped me a bit in my situation.
