A good friend of mine is a bit confusing. He says he’s straight, has an ex-wife, two kids, and is currently going through a break up with his ex-fiancé who he still works with. He’s on all the popular dating apps, schedules booty calls, always talks about how he’d like to bang this and that chick and how beautiful they are, waiting until their 18, etc... However, when he was younger, he had a couple boyfriends. He’s an alpha and likes his control. This came out in one of our conversations about a year ago. At the same time he also said, “I’d f*** you!” But has done nothing further. He’s joked about it one or twice since then in a one-liner, but that’s it. I’m bi, and prefer guys over women, honestly. And he’s a really good looking guy. I know I shouldn’t say anything to him, and it would only be a bit of fooling around. I don’t want a relationship with him - I can’t stand being around him for more than a couple hours at a time, and we’re not compatible that way. I’ve “joked” about some things with him in the past about us hooking up, but I know I’m WAY too subtle. Is it a friendship that I value for long-term? Not really. But does he talk a lot and let things spill out when he shouldn’t? Absolutely - especially if he’s been drinking or smoking. Then in a conversation with another friend a few weeks ago he said, “I’m not into guys at all. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t f*** one if I was really horny. After all, a hole is a hole.” Whenever he starts talking about sex, or his hookup, or someone he’s flirting with, a small part of me gets just a little jealous. The thing is, I seem to come off as straight to everyone who knows me. He has no inclination that I’m bi. I’ve “joked” about it in passing once, and said, “no way... you’re not.” I guess I’m just rambling today with my thoughts, rather than looking for advice. I just won’t say anything, and won’t put myself into any situation where I could say something. But I do fantasize about him once in a great while. The initial attractiveness has worn off - he’s actually kind of disgusting in general with hygiene. But I still want to fool around with him just a bit - sometime - in a far-away future. So I’m not going to say anything and just let it be. Maybe someday something may happen, and then that would probably be the end of that.
Welcome to EC ByMyself, It sounds like you are coming to a level-headed conclusion now that the "initial attractiveness has worn off". It doesn't sound like he smells like a good prospect (literally and figuratively) for you. Maybe you'd like to be him (you say you're jealous), but not be with him in reality.
Well, he is attractive, and people find him good looking. Much better than I am, in all honesty. I get jealous, primarily from his ability to hookup. That’s not me. I also am kind of jealous that I can’t fool around with him when he talks about his hookups. I can’t have meaningless sex.
Well, if I were you I would get him really drunk and make that far away hook up no longer so far away In all honesty, though, if sex is all you want out of him it sounds like you can probably make it happen by how you described him. But if you want a relationship, I would say NEXT.
I'm with mlansing on this to, if you want sex from him and you think you can get it then go for it. Who knows maybe after its done you won't be attracted to him at all, but then again you might want more. Just be safe physically and mentally, protect your heart.
