1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

What's wrong with nipple play? (for gay men)

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by Devil Dave, Jan 16, 2018.

  1. Devil Dave

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2015
    Messages:
    1,077
    Likes Received:
    305
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    A lot of gay men I've spoken to and had encounters with say they don't like nipple play or it does nothing for them.

    But I love nipples! I've only got small ones, but I love having them tweaked, kissed,licked, nibbled, and I like doing it to another man's nipples. I like looking at men's nipples and seeing them erect and watching men's nipples get played with. If I didn't enjoy playing with my own, then I'd be a lot less happier than I normally am!

    So what it is that some men don't like about nipple play?
     
  2. Pole star

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2017
    Messages:
    339
    Likes Received:
    160
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I love nipple play - on me and playing with others' nipples. This is just my opinion but I feel that some men may find anything other than oral and anal sex as something with more emotional involvement and may not have explored anything other than that. I guess if someone is exclusively into hook ups that doesn't allow much time for some exploration as one is looking for quick gratification perhaps...

    It also comes to comfort level, I guess. I have seen some men are uncomfortable with touching and kissing but ok with oral or anal sex. Maybe it comes down to that realisation that sex is much more than just oral and anal sex.
     
  3. smurf

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2015
    Messages:
    1,645
    Likes Received:
    638
    Location:
    Florida
    I think two main scenarios, but of course each person is different

    1) Like the poster said above, some guys think that nipple play is too feminine for them, carry emotional baggage, etc.

    2) Some men aren't that sensitive on their nipples so playing with them is like playing with your elbow.

    If you want to play with someone nipples then talk to them about it. Ask them if they like it, if they want to try it and tell them how much you enjoy it so they can do it to you
     
  4. Devil Dave

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2015
    Messages:
    1,077
    Likes Received:
    305
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I still haven't experienced anal sex. It does confuse a lot of men (especially the ones I talk to on the apps) because so many gay men seem to think all gay men are just top or bottom and nothing in between. Fortunately I have hooked up with a lot of men who don't do anal or are not bothered by it.

    It does kind of depress me that a lot of gay men have that attitude and just seem to see each other as an ass and a cock. I mean, we like looking at men's bodies, right? We admire men who are shaped a certain way. We can enjoy viewing a man on TV or a magazine when he just has his shirt off. Yet so many gay men just want to cut straight to anal sex. Why do they bother seeking out men who look a certain way and are built a certain way, if all they are going to do is just fuck him or be fucked by him and not enjoy anything else that his body has to offer?
     
    Richard321 likes this.
  5. Pole star

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2017
    Messages:
    339
    Likes Received:
    160
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I must say that my experience is somewhat limited as I am not into apps (maybe I am not confident enough). I need the emotional connection to enjoy sex. Once I realised that, it is not easy to just fuck someone or be fucked by someone. Maybe I am a misfit for gay relationships. It has taken time to understand that sex means different things to different people!
     
    Richard321 likes this.
  6. I'm gay

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2016
    Messages:
    1,751
    Likes Received:
    809
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    We should be careful here regarding the reasons why some gay men don't like nipple play, and I'm one of them. It's not because it's too feminine, or because of past baggage, or because of hookup culture. Like Smurf said, it just does nothing for me. It doesn't turn me on, and in fact is usually so distracting to me that it becomes a turn off.

    Like all parts of sex and intimacy, we each have our own likes and dislikes, and we should all be understanding and tolerant of each person's individuality.
     
    Richard321 and Devil Dave like this.
  7. Jax12

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2014
    Messages:
    1,875
    Likes Received:
    71
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I never thought of nipple play in terms of femininity, baggage, etc.

    I personally do not find it pleasureable to have my nipples nibbled on, but if someone likes doing it, then why not.

    I love doing nipple play to someone, though.
     
    Richard321 likes this.
  8. Devil Dave

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2015
    Messages:
    1,077
    Likes Received:
    305
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    ok sorry if I caused any offense. I just really like nips! :blush:
     
    Richard321 likes this.
  9. I'm gay

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2016
    Messages:
    1,751
    Likes Received:
    809
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    You didn’t cause offense. My boyfriend loves nipple play too, so I accommodate him. I just don’t like it myself.
     
    Richard321 likes this.
  10. JaimeGaye

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 30, 2017
    Messages:
    481
    Likes Received:
    156
    Location:
    Illinois
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    It's known as "Objectifying" NiceDave and both gay and straight men are guilty of it. I'm a fem gay and can tell you on the feminine level we want an emotional connection to a relationship.
    Masculine males by nature always look at a potential partner as a honey pot for their seed and often make no real emotional connection to a partner until he has been with that partner several times.
    It's the old,"If you really love me you'd stop having sex with the back of my head."
    Another thing I learned about myself as an effeminate male is that I enjoy having attention paid to my nipples more than I enjoy that attention being paid to my penis.
    Same thing goes for analingus.
    To each there own.
     
    Richard321 likes this.
  11. Devil Dave

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2015
    Messages:
    1,077
    Likes Received:
    305
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I guess I've never seen nipple play as being THAT intimate (as in making an emotional connection as well as physical) I've always jerked off to pictures of men with their shirts off and saw nipple play as something to be enjoyed by any one who gets turned on by a man's upper body.

    I've always thought one of the advantages of being a gay man is that images of men's nipples are far more accessible than images of women's nipples (i.e. men can go shirtless in a PG or U rated movie while women's breasts have to be covered, and men can walk around shirtless in summer) so we get to enjoy looking at bare chests a lot more frequently than our straight brothers!

    Meanwhile anal sex is something I've wanted to save for a special partner (I still haven't had a relationship) but plenty of gay men will shag a bloke up the ass without even knowing his first name. Anal sex is also one of the highest risk forms of sexual activity, whereas playing with someone's nipples is hardly going to give you an STD. So I guess it also has to do with me being low risk and playing on the safer side.

    We are strange creatures!
     
    Richard321 likes this.
  12. butterfly1

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2017
    Messages:
    183
    Likes Received:
    144
    Location:
    somewhere over the rainbow
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Agree with JaimeGaye about the concept of "Objectifying". I would prefer someone who can appreciate me (physically and emotionally).

    And, yes, there is plenty of "eye candy" out there.

    And I find nipple play as something I like. A lot. Right up there with kissing. (Just my preferences)
     
    Richard321 likes this.
  13. LaurenSkye

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2012
    Messages:
    1,167
    Likes Received:
    142
    Location:
    Cincinnati, OH
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I like nipple play. As far as playing with other guys' nipples, I see them as being sexy, but not the sexiest part of a guys body. As far as people playing with my nipples, I've never actually had that, but I do sometimes enjoy rubbing my own nipples. Of course, I am bigender, and often fantasize about being a woman and having breasts, and have always loved women's nipples more than men's.
     
    Richard321 likes this.