for years bisexual then interest in woman disapeared

Hi long time married bi guy here. For me I get what you said about “taking matters into hand” to only gay porn. I’m with you there. I’m resigned to allowing the future to unfold organically for me. I know that I still have a very strong attraction to women (I’m a 2 on the Kinsey scale). I’ve yet to reach the point where I check out guys in public. However, should that ever change and my attraction to guys becomes dominant I’m ok with it. It’s really cool that you can find peace with your changes as well. Be well.

 

I like this story, you have similar experience with me but when I was young, I only attracted to some woman and it is very rarely, now I am 40yo,
I am realized that possible for me attracted to woman anymore, my mind now is always thinking about men, especially older white men. Woman is beyond in my imagination, they are beautiful like flowers to decorate the world but not for me.
My dreams now even not with a woman but men to spend my life time with in the future.

 

This has happened to me too, but I don't think I am gay.

 

This has happened to me too, but I don't think I am gay.

 

When I look back and think of the many years I considered myself bi, I realize now that I was gay all along. I just remained in a perpetual state of bargaining unwilling to accept my true sexuality. Thats not to suggest that any of you are doing the same thing, but for me I believe a lifelong exposure to a heteronormative social construct combined with both subliminal and outward homophobia caused intense shame for me and an unwillingness to accept myself.

One of my most cherished life accomplishments to date has been to work through my shame allowing me to embrace my true self.

 

I'm with OTH. I think it comes down to comfort and shame. I was pretty active with women in college and somewhat in high school, figured I was bi but it would just be easier to be with women. And I had a pretty satisfying and active sex life. But once I really came to terms with the fact that I really did like men and it really was going to be part of my life my feeling towards women just kind of dissipated. I haven't thought of a woman that way in over twenty-five years. I was definitely gay all along; denial isn't just a river in Egypt.

 

did you look at women and find them attractive? what experience changed you?

 

Like OTH and OGS, I considered myself straight and had sexual relationships with women. In retrospect they never seemed the "earth moving" experiences I had expected. I had buried my homosexuality so deep and for so long I didn't realize what the issue was. When I finally allowed myself to be honest, I acknowledged that I found men sexually appealing. After my first sexual encounter with the man who would later become my partner I experienced that "earth moving" experience I had hoped for. I am still in the process of putting the internalized shame in its place due to the homophobia around me but I am getting there. I can tell you my interest in women totally disappeared after being with a man, haven't thought about a women sexually in over a year, don't notice them, don't miss being in a relationship with them. The idea of being intimate with one seems totally gross and wrong to me now, and I know I couldn't not physically be with one any longer under any circumstance. These reactions serve as additional evidence if you will, that I am indeed gay and always have been. I was just late recognizing the joys of being gay. Hope my story helps somewhat.

 

I did or at least I thought I did. Again, like contented, it wasn't like it is in the movies but what is, right? Well, being with a man is... For me it wasn't even a sexual encounter. There was this guy in college, he didn't even go to school with us but was a friend of one of my roommates who would visit from Princeton. We had this sort of simmering thing. He was gay. He had my number but was respectful until one night I was helping him back from a party where he had had too much to drink. I was in charge of getting him back to the dorm because I didn't drink. So we stumbled through campus giggling until we made it to the lobby of my building where he went in for a kiss. I almost turned away and then for some reason I just didn't... and it was like lighting through my soul. He was pretty drunk so it probably wasn't even a very good kiss. But it was positively electric. So much so that my legs actually gave out and since I was supporting him, down we went in a jumble of tangled legs and arms. It took a while to figure out how to get back up and by the time I did I was gay. It was like it just blew through all that denial. I never even slept with him. But I never slept with a woman again.

 

Thanks, I wish I had that kind of assurance one way or the other.

 

Coming a bit late to this but just to say my genderfluidity has increased markedly over time. I am much more woman than I was.

 

Ps realise that is not the same thing! But related. . I could explain. .

 

I'm going through a guy phase now too after a long time with girls - I believe it is not uncommon.

 

Oh ok. I mean I am more sensitive and emotional. I enjoy ladies' fashions and clothes. It's true to say I'm receptive to viewing men as potential romantic partners.

 

I too - like readynow - wish it were that simple. For me the main difference is feeling totally into pleasing another woman in the bedroom - the feeling that I really, really, really need to get my partner off... it's like a raison d'être for me and there is nothing sweeter than being able to help her reach that. I do very my much enjoy my own physical experience with my partner, but somehow there is nothing that appears to drive it more for me than being instrumental in turning her on..... does that make me weird? I think part of this is due to the fact that I find it hard to climax myself...but partly there is sheer pleasure in giving her pleasure if that make any sense or - maybe - I'm just barking mad!!!