What's keeping you awake at night?

Couldn't have said it better myself. My friend ditched me a while ago but seems nearly as broken up about it as I am, but doesn't want to repair the relationship. I wish I knew what to do to get her back. She was my best friend for the longest time. I'd do anything to have her back in my life, honestly. It hurts to even think about her for too long, I always end up crying.

 

What keeps me awake at night-
The struggle of who I am. The thoughts are like a tennis match. One thought, then the opposite of that thought. Then some other train of thought, and the opposite of those thoughts. Because things are so quiet at night here, all the thoughts seem more apparent. More amplified. And maybe if I could come to terms with me, I could sleep better.
But then I would wonder about where I would go from those thoughts. And new trains of thought would be there in the night. Such is the ways of my thinking.

 

I'm sick

 

I'd probably do the same thing, if I didn't learn the hard way that if I don't get sleep before I work, it makes my job damn near impossible. Even then, I still end up staying later than I should.

 

A lot of things, depends on my mood. Struggles, fear of loneliness, work, internet, reading fanfics (guilty pleasure) xD, and sometimes i have to make up the whole story to make my brain go to sleep

 

(I'm 13, just for the reference of my story)

What's keeping me awake is that my friend's parents found out that I'm gay, and they prohibited us from talking to, or seeing each other. He's a really good friend, and it just frustrating that they judge me without even meeting me. Also, when my mom says something like, "Nate, do you still think you're gay? Because [friend] is coming over for a sleepover and it's my responsibility to protect him. We can't have you two alone.", "Do you still think you're gay? No? Thank God. That is so devastating to hear."

 

This. I'm still terrified of the dark. Which is why I usually sleep with the covers over my head.

Other things that keep me up: Whether I'll find a good job or even a job in the field I studied in college, Whether I'll ever find love, and whether I'll go to hell for being bi and Catholic.

 

I dream about the future. When I wake up I'm sad about the present. It's the most sad, confusing and utterly amazing thing

 

A fucked up sleeping pattern.

 

Sleep paralysis & hypnagogic hallucinations sometimes keep me half-awake for several seconds

I don't have any serious problems at the moment

 

Raychael keeps me up at night. My Soul burns and only wants to sing and create music about her. She's my Muse, my pain, my heart's desire, my Soul's beloved. I'm hoping she won't reject me anymore once the EP is finished and she sees that the songs about her and inspired by her are not just poems on a piece of crumpled paper, but written out in a song book and made real. I don't expect her to fall in love but at least acknowledge that she inspired something true and genuine. That just maybe she'll open her heart in some way, even if as a friendly aquaintance. I'm not sure I could handle loving her. I lose a lot of sleep thinking about her and up with my guitar writing out lyrics and melodies, scoring music on my guitar or Cello (which is named Rayecello, lol). She's the physicality of my heart's desire, she's music and all I think about. Being with her in reality, I'd be lost in her and endless songs. Not like that would be really that horrible. Hahahaha! But I'd forget about the rest of living.

 

Lately it's been physical pain.

 

Currently, it's probably anything related to school, my job, crushes, space and time, or a bout of depression. I tend to sometimes overthink, overanalyze, and get anxious over any number of things.

However, these causes of insomnia are always temporary, as I'll eventually fall asleep and awake to a new day, filled with new possibilities.

 

I've stayed up all night worrying about global warming once.
Sometimes if I'm working on math problems beforehand, my brain will refuse to stop thinking about them in bed.
If there's something I'm excited to do the next day, I'll think about that.

 

Stupid humans who lit many fireworks before christmas! (>,<)#
Anybody else experienced it?

 

Storms and a terrified dog.

 

Currently, what's keeping me awake is myself constantly questioning if it's worth paying for a dyscalculia diagnosis.

What kind of degree could I do as an adult that's equivalent to a GCSE in maths? I'm worried about being rejected by future employers, due to not having a maths GCSE.

But, what if I never pass? I really wish there was more help available to me, but if I got a diagnosis would it actually help? It's difficult to find someone who has actually heard of the condition, never mind someone who can support me.

I feel like I have tried every single possible way to learn maths, and nothing seems to help and it's frustrating.

 

a severe and emotionally debilitating lack of real friends coupled with fear of an uncertain and pretty dark looking future.

I need a drink

 

Imagining conversations with friends I don't have to distract myself from the fact that I don't have a close relationship with anyone and I'm gonna have to deal with that starting from the moment I wake up.

 

injured back + thinking about two guys I seem to have feelings for.