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How can I be true to myself ? Afraid of the future

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by SomeAverageBoy, Dec 19, 2017.

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  1. SomeAverageBoy

    SomeAverageBoy
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    I’m Bisexual. Well at least I hope.
    I’m interested in girls, sometimes guys, I could just say that I’m Bi which I’m ok with but for a lack of a better word. I’m scared of the future.
    I’m really scared that one day I will find out that I’m actually gay or a transgirl or whatever and what I’m doing now is just lying to myself.
    I have heard so many stories (and even witnessed real life cases) of people that first say that they’re straight/Bi/Cis but then they later discover that they’re otherwise, and previously called themselves those things either because of insecurity, pressure, inexperience or denial.
    I’m sure that I’m Bi, I swear I am. But what if I’m actually not and I’m just saying it because I don’t want to disappoint my family ? (they’re homophobic as heck and I’m attached to them unfortunately)
    It scares me because in some areas, my case is very similar to those cases I mentioned earlier, sometimes I even considered calling myself straight solely because my family won’t even tolerate Bisexuality.
    I want to be honest with myself but I’m scared on where that will lead me to discover. They say ignorance is bliss but here it hurts either way.
    I don’t know whether to lie to everyone and myself or try and experiment with my feelings and risk finding out that I’ve been living a lie
     
    #1 SomeAverageBoy, Dec 19, 2017
  2. Niagara

    Niagara
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    Same here... I thought I was straight until a few months ago, realized I'm not and have been thinking bisexual.... but now that I've been spending a lot of time with a guy I like a lot, I've pretty much lost all attraction to women suddenly... making me afraid my original straight feelings were just a self-imposed lie to hide being gay from myself. I've already been completely disowned by one parent for other unrelated reasons, and the second parent is highly homophobic and would almost certainly disown me also if I were gay. This makes it terrifying to explore my own feelings due to the fear of what I might find out about myself and how that will impact the future.

    I know this doesn't really help you, but just wanted to show you that you aren't alone in feeling this way, if that offers any peace of mind.
     
    #2 Niagara, Dec 19, 2017
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  3. SomeAverageBoy

    SomeAverageBoy
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    Yeah It’s ok, It’s always good to know that I’m not alone on this
     
    #3 SomeAverageBoy, Dec 19, 2017
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  4. mask1985

    mask1985
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    I was always into girls until age 18 when I met another 18 year old boy who was also into girls until he met me. We were together for nearly two years, having to keep it a secret due to homophobic parents etc. Since him I have only been with girls although I have found some guys attractive but they never compared with my one true love. I would say don't be in too much of a rush to label yourself as anything other than you at this stage. It still bugs me that homophobia exists but I guess we can't change that overnight. Not sure if any of this helps but wish you good luck anyway and you're definitely not alone.
     
    #4 mask1985, Dec 28, 2017
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  5. SomeAverageBoy

    SomeAverageBoy
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    Thank you, this really does help. I guess I’ll start and be a bit more relaxed and try and discover myself while being cautious about who I’ll tell about it. I’ll try not to rush things like you said and let time do its thing.
    Again, thank you and happy new year
     
    #5 SomeAverageBoy, Jan 8, 2018
  6. And it exploded

    And it exploded
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    I do this little test with myself. Lay down and say things like "I'm straight" "I'm bi" and "I'm gay" over and over again in your head. Notice how you feel. The ones that are wrong will feel weird when you say them
     
    #6 And it exploded, Jan 8, 2018
  7. mask1985

    mask1985
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    Bless you - happy new year to you too.:grinning:
     
    #7 mask1985, Jan 9, 2018
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