Soo, i started questioning my gender identity 6 months ago. I'm FTM. What realy helped me realizing it is going back in my past. I'm not natural English so excuse me for mistakes. Those things were very helpful for me. -Always played with boys. -Never wore dresses or makeup (last time i wore it was 8 months ago for prom, had to) -Had crush on female celebs 5-6 y.o. (but imagined i was their boyfriend) -In my dreams/imaginations i was always a boy. -Always picked male role (Computer games/when played with friends) -Mostly wore boy clothes at home. -Tomboy af -Used to put Nivea creme all over my face and pretend to shave with a piece of plastic. -Used to put pair of socks or a ball in my pants and pretend i have penis. -Always wanted to have abs and a lot of muscles. When puberty started: -Girls slowly started liking boys but i wasn't atracted to anyone. (I thought i'm too young or i didn't start puberty yet). -I talk normal with friends that i know from my childhood, but when it comes to school friends or anyother i just don't talk nothing. -Extremely sad/depressed/quiet in school (I use to stand in one corner and do anything on my phone, sometimes just lock and unlock just not to talk to anyone because i don't know how to "act" like a girl). -Hate being called pretty -Not feeling comfortable talking about boys, relationships and similar. -Started liking girls but not as a girl. -Have been thinking about word "trans" every day since i started questioning myself. Body dysphoria started too. I'm 15 btw. I can't remember anything at the moment but i think i wrote down some signs of being trans. Ps: I'm not out to my family, just 2 friends. Not on T
Sorry typing on tablet. I often felt similarly despite being bigender. I was a tomboy when very young and often played with the boys despite other girls not really hanging with the boys on the playground. In middle school I remember other girls having crushes and talking about them, and me trying to fit in by saying oh I kind of had a crush on so and so ... but each was very fleeting and I think more about me playing a role ... I think I have always felt I was playing at truly being a girl or trying to fit the mold. Even in high school I was not really comfortable in my body... I remember watching trans documentaries and thinking I could relate or it felt similar (not questioning it or knowing why)... but the thing that hits me in the face is when I was in high school, I told one of my parents that I wanted to be a drag queen for Halloween (aka a male flamboyantly dressing as a woman) which is weird for someone who is afab and thought of as female because traditionally you would want to be a drag king. But to me at the time I think it was me trying to be comfortable in my body because I am often androgyne and feel like my body is similar to a trans woman ...
