Gay and bi men - What kind of relationship do you prefer and why?

I would prefer either a monagamous or monagam-ish relationship for a few reasons:

-First bisexuals tend to get a bad rep for being promiscous, and as someone who is very loyal I wouldn't like the idea of sleeping with numerous partners. Mainly because that spreads diseases, but also because I'd want to show my girlfriend/wife that I was loyal to her and that our relationship is important to me.

-Secondly, if I have children, I don't think it'd be a good idea to have so many people coming in and out of their lives like that. It would probably get confusing for them.

-Third, I'm bad enough at trying to get one relationship now. How the hell could I even attempt to have multiple partners if I can't even get one to begin with?

 

I identify as polyamorous, but my husband doesn't so right now we are in an open relationship and we are emotionally exclusive to each other. Can get tricky at times, but we have managed to make it work so far. 6 years together so far and it has been amazing!


As we have this conversation, please try to state the positive reason why you choose the way your relationships look. For example:

Negative statement: I'm poly because I would never be able to be with clingy people who aren't secure enough to be able to have multiple partners

or

I'm monogamous because I don't like to be a slut

Positive statement: I'm poly because I love being able to be surrounded by multiple people who love and respect one another

or

I'm monogamous because I enjoy the close connection to one single person


You can state your preference without insulting or damaging other people who don't have your same choices.

 

I picked monogamy, although there was a point in my life when I was more monogamish. Interestingly I've done both with the same man. I've been with my husband for twenty years and we were monogamish for probably the first three years or so. I don't think we ever had some sort of come to Jesus moment about it all it just sort of became a non-issue. I don't have any sort of moral objection, it just sort of came to a point where I could pour my whole being into him and still want more to pour so other men just weren't exciting any more. Perhaps other people have more to give than I do...

 

I prefer and want a monogamous relationship where both partners are committed, loving and supportive. The type of relationship that would provide stability and foster mutual growth. It would be great if I could find someone who would be my best friend and exclusive lover for a long-term relationship based on trust and respect. I look forward to meeting them.

 

I'm not really sure what to pick, because while I personally don't want more then one partner, the guy I'm dating is involved with a polyamerous relationship. Not sure what that would be considered if the polyamory only goes one way. I'm not involved with the others (and for the most part don't really want to be) but I'm cool with him doing it, as long as he's honest about it and our relationship doesn't suffer as a result. I guess I'd say I like monogamy. I find the Idea of dedicating myself to one person (and Idealy having them do the same). But at the same time feel it's selfish to demand that he gives up this other, in this case older, thing in order to be with me.

 

I am actually open to all these types of relationships because realistically I like all the options and as a person who wants to enter into a D/s relationship as a submissive it's really up to my dominant to chose what I do. I am just open to all of the ideas in a relationship, it depends on what he wants, but I do want him to be my boyfriend as well as my dominant.

 

Monogamy. I'd get so fucking jealous in a polygamous relationship aha

 

Monogamy or nothing.

 

I picked Monogamish.

If I trust someone enough to be with them, I'm not concerned about them running off with someone else and leaving me behind, if I thought they would do that I wouldn't be with them in the first place, so I don't need monogamy. At the same time though a poly/open relationship would make me feel like "just another replaceable person" for lack of a better term instead of someone important to them.

I would have no problem with them enjoying themselves with other people sometimes, as long as I'm still the one they come back to long-term. Eventually they are going to be attracted to someone else, it's human nature, so why even make it a big deal? That's how I see it anyway. If they see another person they like, by all means, they can go have sex with them and satisfy their desires, instead of them having to restrict their own happiness just for the sake of monogamy. I feel it would be unfair to force someone I care about to deny themselves happiness just to prove their loyalty to me.