Before, did friends/family/etc...try setting you up with the wrong people?

Interesting topic. I have had people regularly try to set me up with wonderful women over the years. Since I knew in junior high school that I was gay and only want friendships with women, this has created some awkward situations. I have not been ready to come out, so it has been challenging to find plausible excuses to not pursue the opportunities. I have feigned sickness, said I was too busy or come up with whatever other reason I could to avoid dates with these women. If someone has been persistent about me dating an individual, I have usually gone on a first date and been very polite, but not followed up for possible future dates. I assume people think of me as straight and attribute my reluctance to date women to shyness or being too picky. I plan to finally come out sometime this year. Happy New Year and good luck on your journey kayteaugh.

 

Not often, but yes family and family-friends have tried setting me up. Most of the time it was just comments or suggestions, which I politely listen with a smile, maybe investigated the guy, but nothing ever came of them. There was one time a family member got really meddlesome. Literally pushed me into social situations to talk with a guy she deemed a match. I eventually sat her down and told her how that made me feel. While I did my best to acknowledge her good intentions, I let her know I didn't enjoy it and felt my agency taken. Moreover it was counter productive to me liking someone. I was just getting angry. I also asked her point blank to not do it again. She's respected me since and I've had no one else try to set me up for years. I did try to befriend the guy which didn't work out. Wasn't really the type of person I would befriend.

I didn't even know I was bi back then and since I'm mostly into girls it's probably a factor why most set ups won't work. I do want a relationship... but I'm a bit shy, I am a friendship first kind of person, and don't like set ups regardless of gender. I can get along with most but a deeper connection is harder to find. I don't believe others can find that for me. My parents were also very anti set ups and don't meddle in my love life. To me match making is out of the ordinary and imposses on personal liberty.

Set ups can be a pain and unwanted regardless of your sexual orientation. If set ups aren't your thing, you can tell people so.

 

Yep, happens to me ALL THE TIME. Because I'm very girly myself so whoever doesn't know me assumes I'm straight and immediately offers to introduce me to someone when they find out I'm single.

I don't know why people think they have a right to assume that I'm looking for a man to date...but even strangers are all up in my business sometimes.

It used to bother me A LOT when I had just come out. Now I just laugh it off and if it's someone I don't really know, I'll say "sure". That usually gets them to chill out and honestly, they RARELY follow through with the actual setup. And if they actually try to, a simple, nice rejection text to the matchmaker does the trick. But I promise, people really don't follow through on their setup plans lol.

 

Oh God. My mother's one really significant matchmaking attempt was when she convinced me to ask my kid sister's English teacher out. She was very nice girl and I actually liked her, but she had some major depression issues, and looking back, I suppose it's quite possible she was a closet lesbian, as was my girlfriend of 3 years in high school/college (that one definitely). It didn't last long due to her depression (she broke things off), and my middle-school-age sister kept growling, "Great, now I know I'll either get an A or an F, and it all depends on YOU!" We broke up after a few weeks but got together about a year later. She was (I think) on meds for the depression, but for whatever reason, I no longer had any interest in her whatsoever. I do wonder what became of her, though!