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Just got into a LDR online relationship and I need some advice

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Umberson379, Dec 24, 2017.

  1. Umberson379

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Baltimore, MD
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    So about a week ago on one of my Discord servers I got asked out by this guy in my group and since then we've been trying to make things work. We both like each other a lot and share some interest but I have little to no experience with relationships like this in general. It's a bit hard starting a conversation and while we do play games and do "erotic roleplays" we've been running out of stuff to do and talk about and lewd 24/7 just looks bad in a way cause I'm sure we could have fun and bond in other ways.

    I really want to make this work and he does too but I don't know how to get closer to him romantically. I have plenty of free time and we're both online frequently but we just don't know what to do with said time. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
     
    #1 Umberson379, Dec 24, 2017
    Last edited: Dec 24, 2017
  2. GreenTree

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Switzerland
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I've been in a LDR for almost 6 years now and although it was not from an online meeting, I suppose general pointers for making LDRs work should apply?

    We would watch tv series or movies at the same time despite the distance and chat throughout.
    I guess you could play games and chat at the same time but maybe move into topics that allows both of you to open up a bit more rather than superficial small-talk.
    Since the holidays have just passed, I guess you could also talk about what you all were up to - funny stuff, annoying stuff, happy moments.
    Really, I guess just start talking and see how it goes from there is what I'd say to make the relationship progress.
     
  3. Sek

    Sek
    Full Member

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    I personally believe that the best way to ensure longevity of your relationship, if that's what you are looking for, is to both understand that a long distance "relationship" is, at most, the promise of a relationship - one with tangibility and real togetherness. That means you must not apply certain measures of relationship success to this situation, instead frame it as "two people with a romantic interest in each other" until you are able to be physically present with each other. I would also suggest giving both of yourselves time to grow together organically, i.e. kicking back and letting things unfold without expectation or pressure. Later down the line, if your relationship survives the infatuation stage and a deeper love develops, you can look into the possibility of relocating closer to each other to make a relationship possible, one with physical presence and memories in the real world.

    I hope things work out for you, just take things slowly and keep things simple. :slight_smile: